My Chemical Remymberance

Those Brave Reporters

2012-01-16T10:30:00.003+08:00

I remember writing a letter to TODAY newspaper - a publicly circulated newspaper in Singapore, during the time when the controversial Iraq War took place and it appeared on 10th April 2003 issue, page 8 of the letters column section.

The article now appeared as a digital online archive at the National Library Board's Newspapers SG site (http://newspapers.nl.sg/Digitised/Article/today20030410-1.2.16.3.aspx) and also preserved in microfilm reel NL25556 available at the Lee Kong Chian Reference Library, Victoria Street.

__________________________________

It was great to be heard. I was commenting on the nature of news reporting and coverage of the Iraq War made by Channel News Asia, Singapore's own news broadcasting channel. Reporters such as May Ying Welsh risked their lives while covering the news at ground zero. You sometimes question the efforts and sometimes blood that people would go through just to capture the truth. The Iraq War which was sparked by 9-11 has been heavily debated and its initial objective to fight terrorism has been doubted. The American soldiers who fought in Iraq even started an initiative call the Iraq Veterans Against the War (IVAW) - an advocacy group of active-duty United States military personnel, Iraq War veterans, Afghanistan War veterans (who have served since the September 11, 2001 attacks) who are opposed to the U.S. occupation of Iraq.

When wars are actually driven by greed of politicians and commercial organizations who spent billions of dollars on military machines and armies to invade weak countries, we asked then 'Who really are we fighting for?' and 'Who really is the enemy?'

- remykm

__________________________________

The first casualty when war comes is truth

- Hiram Johnson

#smittened

2012-01-05T14:34:00.000+08:00

I might have reached an age where I've forgotten how to fall in love.

The feeling almost dissipated primarily because of previous experiences such as rejections, inferior complex or perhaps looking at the bathroom mirror each and every night thinking that I wouldn't be able to maintain a good relationship anyway.

But I stumbled recently upon this video log by a lady named Leeya Muhammad that sort of rekindled an ancient feeling.

It touched my heart.

I suspected that she had posted this video on her fiancé/boyfriend's FB wall while being overseas, expressing how much she missed him without resorting to use any word.

The title of the video was ♥ Seni çok özledim (in Turkish) which means "I missed you so much." She was doing finger and facial expressions throughout the 24 secs video with a song that goes "I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else....but you."

Sweet, msylh...

and I'm smittened by her creative human gesture.

- remykm

__________________________________

"Here is the church and here is the steeple,

We sure are cute for two ugly people

I don't see what anyone can see,
in anyone else....
But you."

Narrated Abu Karimah Al- Miqdad bin Ma’dikarib,
Allah’s Messenger said, “When a man loves his brother (for God's sake),
he should tell him that he loves him.”
(At-Tirmidi and Abu Dawud)

Thirty

2011-12-14T17:43:00.009+08:00

The best birthday gift is to know that there's someone there worth celebrating it with - remykm

__________________

speak to me in a language i can hear,
humor me before i have to go...
deep in thought i forgive everyone,
as the cluttered streets greet me once again..
i know i can't be late, supper's waiting on the table,
tomorrow's just an excuse away..
("Thirty Three", Billy Corgan)

Sounds like teen spirit

2011-11-30T15:29:00.006+08:00

To commemorate the 20th anniversary of Nirvana's breakthrough Nevermind album which was released on Sep 24th 1991, two guitar giants Fender and Gibson introduced their respective artist signature instruments, the Kurt Cobain Jaguar® and Krist Novoselic Signature RD Bass to honor the musicians' impact on the sound of contemporary rock.

The road-worn sunburst Jaguar is meticulously modeled after the battered and highly unusual 1965 Jaguar that Cobain wielded during the heady early-’90s era whereas the RD Bass is finished in Ebony Black nitrocellulose lacquer, the distinctive lines of the RD body shape cut.

I remember growing up in my teens listening to Nirvana songs. Back in secondary school, I used to exchange cassette tapes with fellow grunge-alternative listeners in the early 1990s. I decided almost 10 years later to literally disposed off almost all my grunge music listening and tune in to nasheed and Quran instead.

Time really flies. I still adore music in all its genres. I admire Cobain for his brilliance in songwriting craft and music that touched some parts of one's heart but I felt that he is still just a human being with errors. If I really need a role model, I had to turn to something genuinely sacred and positively inspiring like Prophet Muhammad s.a.w.

May our youth find solace and guidance in the right kind of people. With the music that we are listening to nowadays, it's difficult to tell which ones are genuinely positive.

- remykm

p.s I would really like to own the Jaguar though... hehe. Oh well, whatever... nevermind.

11.11.11

2011-11-06T00:42:00.004+08:00

It can feel extremely lonely sometimes when you are working on something that not many people know of.

I guess I'm not the type of person who likes to tell the whole world what I'm doing.

I almost gave up on falling in love - trying to chase after something, trying to get any attention.

On a lighter note - Eid Adha mubarak to you, Remy.

You haven't done much sacrifice.

- remykm

Where do the children play

2011-10-27T17:47:00.006+08:00

There are people existing in our lives whom we do not know actually in person - yet we still find them inspirational.

Leo Romero is part of the reason why I return to skateboarding. Allahu'alam.

- remykm

______________________

I know we’ve come a long way,
We’re changing day to day,
But tell me, where do the children play?
- Yusuf Islam

724

2011-10-27T17:16:00.006+08:00

Fond memories of 724 Guards sixth in-camp training with the MT Platoon. Being in the army reminds me of how important it is to appreciate your love ones - when your life is about looking forward to how your day should be spent and how it should end without you regretting not doing something meaningful when time is still on your side.

In the midst of this in-camp training, I had to revise for my BIRKH final year examinations; 3 papers in all over the span of 3 weeks and a presentation. I took advantage of the nights off given on Friday nights and weekends to attend classes as well as spending time with my family.

I managed to also accompany my Mum to the market over the weekends and meet up the NYPMSN alumnis and exco to organise Camp Amir (leadership camp) for our juniors.

Alhamdulillah - I felt that this in-camp had been smooth-sailing. Meeting up my platoon mates like Hanafi, Sufian and Iskandar brought back memories of previous ICTs.

May god give us the strength to complete our reservist cycles and especially preparing for next year ATEC 2 - battallion mission exercise, insylh.

- remykm

"I was a warrior who dreamed he could bring peace...but sooner or later though, you always have to wake up." - Jake Sulley (Avatar)

That time of the year again

2011-09-15T13:08:00.006+08:00

We were joking about how pictures should be taken for a typical hari raya shot.

The Bibik who was taking the photo asked us, "Kaki nampak ye?"

Kak Sab's husband replied wittily, "Kepala tak payah..."

hehe...

Hari raya timeless moments.

- remykm

___________________________

Minal aaidin wal faizin wal maqbulin,
taqabballallahu waminkum
kullu 'aamin wa antum bikhair

Sister's walimah

2011-06-28T13:04:00.005+08:00

Thank you to everyone who came and supported my big sister Rahayu and Imad's wedding on the 11th and 12th June 2011. Your prayers & assistance will be remembered insylh.

Barakallahulakuma wabaraka 'alaikuma wa jama'a baina kumaa fi khair~

Sedetik Lebih

2011-05-15T07:44:00.005+08:00

Izinkan saya berblog dalam bahasa Melayu.

Pernahkah anda mengalami satu perasaan yang menyebabkan anda menjadi begitu terlena dengan buaian kasih terhadap seseorang sehinggakan apabila tiadanya kehadirannya, anda rasa seolah-olah tidak bernyawa?

Setiap nafas yang dihembus..

Setiap degupan jantung..

Memberi inspirasi untuk anda, memikirkannya

Mungkin, tiada sesuatu perhiasan di dunia ini yang lebih indah daripadanya

Ternyata ku perlukan cinta dari dirimu..

Barulah terasa ku bernyawa

Kerana kau beri erti hidup

Maka izinkanlah aku mencintaimu sedetik lebih selepas selamanya~

___________________________________________

“Dunia ini adalah perhiasan, dan sebaik-baik perhiasan adalah wanita shalihah."
Rasulullah

a marriage showered with blessings..

2011-05-03T10:13:00.004+08:00

Re-blogged from al-kaatibun "Secrets"

an interesting commentary, rare and one of its kind, made on the Royal Wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton as a comparison to the controversial customary lavish practices of walimahs~

___________________________

Monday, May 02, 2011 11:58 PM

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته

Just have to share what I find really beautiful (aside from the gorgeous bride) about the recent, much hyped royal wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton:

A large portion of the ceremony was held in Westminster Abbey, the church where the solemnisation was held.

Note: Nope. Not on a wedding dais, for the eyes of more strangers than couple’s loved ones. When the world’s eyes are on them, they choose to spend the first few seconds of their marriage surrounded by faith.

The solemnisation ceremony was followed by a speech by the archbishop (or someone from the church) on marriage; roles, responsibilities, etc.

Note: Personally? Such a great way to start your marriage! To be reminded of how best to positively contribute to the relationship, as taught by your faith, serving to remind the guests at the same time.

Only a total of 300 guests, consisting of the couple’s family and close friends, were invited for dinner.

Note: Not 1,000, with 3/4 of the guests being people the couple barely know (hence, due to limited interaction, them not being able to entirely share the couple’s joy, making the invite pointless, no?).

The bride made herself up for the wedding!

Note: With nearly 23 million viewers worldwide! This not only speaks of confidence, but mostly of modesty and the willingness to try cheaper alternatives, even if one has all the money in the world to spend.

From pictures, the bride seems to appear in only two different wedding gowns. One for the solemnisation ceremony, and another for the dinner.

Note: Not four. Or five. And… This is the Duchess of Cambridge, we’re talking about.

It got me thinking. This is the prince of the most popular monarchy in the world! Aside from the reported amount spent… The service isn’t as extravagant as one would expect. Instead, the affair seems really simple and intimate.

Maybe, it’s time we question some cultural practices, and remind ourselves of the purpose of weddings. I don’t have a problem with spending for once-in-a-lifetime events, really. But costs are rising at a far more significant rate than pay slips, and efforts must be made to maintain some sort of balance between income and expenditure.

I am obviously, an inexperienced bride. But I’d like to believe that weddings should also be about living within my means, rather than meeting the society’s expectations. It should be a day filled with meaning and joy, not one that physically drains and mentally challenges… Especially so, for the couple and their loved ones.

May He guide us all, towards a walimah and most importantly, marriage that will be showered with His endless blessings, InsyaAllah.

___________________________

Sayyidina Ali ibn Abi Talib (Radhiallaahu Anhu) narrates that Rasulullah s.a.w said,

"Three things should not be delayed; the salaat when it’s time has set in, the janaaza salaat when the deceased is prepared and present and the marriage of an unwedded woman when her kufu (match) is found."

(Tirmidhi; Mustadrak Hakim vol.2 pg.162)

Happy Bday Bro Ruzaili~

2011-04-09T09:05:00.006+08:00

Have I ever tell you that I would usually take the effort to find an ideal gift, complete with a good wrapping and a greeting card for special people in my life?

It shows how much I treasure them. subhanallah.. sometimes I felt that I would be incomplete without these people in my life.

May god bless your presence and may you always be remymbered insylh~

- remykm

Coming Soon~

2011-02-27T14:44:00.004+08:00

there's always something to look forward to in life...

i guess that's what makes us keep on going

- remykm

An Other Cup

2011-02-26T10:58:00.005+08:00

I guess this is a part of my life that I didn't tell much to people.

I've restricted the viewing of my tagged photos on Facebook - firstly because I'm very concern about being 'too proud' (riak) of what I'm doing based on a hadith saying, “No one will enter Paradise who has atom’s-weight of pride in his heart.”

Secondly, I'm concern about a woman's aurah (modesty in dressing) especially if how she dresses would arouse another person's temptation.

I just like to archive this part of my life - the classroom. The students whom I see as friends or intimate strangers. The realm which I sometimes call, my second home~

Several of my students tried to take some pictures of me while in class - and I thought it is truly a kind, human gesture.

Msylh - may god bless them.

-remykm

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*An Other Cup is an album by Yusuf Islam (formerly known as Cat Stevens). On the album cover, the singer is credited as "Yusuf" with a cover label identifying him as "the artist formerly known as Cat Stevens". In an interview as to why he presented both names, he said, "You know, the cup is there to be filled ... with whatever you want to fill it with. For those people looking for Cat Stevens, they'll probably find him in this record. If you want to find Yusuf, go a bit deeper, you'll find him."

“The believer who mixes with people and bears their insults with patience is better than the one who does not mix with people or bear their insults with patience.”
(Bukhari)

In a hadith reported by Imam Ahmad (5/245), one day the Prophet s.a.w. took Mu’aadh by the hand and said:

"O’ Muaadh, by God I love you, so I advise you, O’ Mu’aadh, never forget to recite, after every prayer, O’ God, help me to remember You and to give thanks to You and to worship You properly (Allahumma, a’inni ‘ala dhikrika wa shukrika wa husni ‘ibaadatika)."

2011

2011-01-30T09:41:00.004+08:00

I've beginning to feel that 2011 will be another 2010.

A rushed, loveless, exhausting, solitary, forlorn, directionless life with frenzied outbursts of emotion here and there.

I'm not complaining. It just bothers me to see other people still surviving in their little ways.

I've tried living someone else's life - in fact I've tried to fit myself into this framework of living for the sake of others. I'm like an entertainer - entertaining and seeing to people's needs, whims & fancies.

There are but a few things that I looked forward to in 2011:

1) Not being involved with teaching - I have plans to take a break from it and start to focus on my studies and personal development. It has been very difficult to have too many things on your mind and too many people to care for.

My new class TN1101B has been a darling to me but sooner or later I will have to let them go. My graduating class AD091M will be my keepsake. A few of them will be going to polytechnics, Nafa or LaSalle while the others remain clueless and continue living their lives. I felt very pitiful to my students who have tried very hard. They will remain in my prayers.

2) My studies at ntu and Birkh - I guess that I've never get to appreciate a proper university study if I continue doing other unrelated things. The irony is that I needed the money to pay for the course fees but working unfortunately affects my concentration to get good grades and most importantly becoming more knowledgeable.

3) Relationship - The evening train journeys from my workplace to ntu & pergas and the journey back home have been very, very lonely. Honestly, it would have been nice if I have a 'girlfriend' or something along that lines, someone to talk to on a weekly basis, cuddle with and share my rantings. But this doesn't come easy or something that you can get off the shelf.

There was one time when I took a cab, I had this conversation with the taxi driver about life, working and studying. The taxi driver advised me to get married because he believed that 80% of my problems will be solved if I get married. My elder sister will be getting married in June insylh. Logically speaking, my turn would come after that hopefully. So I do look forward to my sisters getting married and settling down.

I don't know why I'm writing this - I just needed that outlet I guess.

But this can be pathetic sometimes.

When all you need is actually a Khadijah* or Aishah* to be with you.

sighing doesn't seem to help much~

- remykm

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* Khadijah and Aishah are names of the Prophet Muhammad s.a.w's wives.
Any resemblance between the characters in this post and any persons, living or dead, is a miracle..

or perhaps purely coincidental~

Ar Rum

2010-12-31T10:33:00.007+08:00

My small sister Rehana is getting married on the first day of the new year, 2011.

Preparations as early as September, I think, were underway - from food to the wedding location, mak andam, costumes and invitations.

Though all of our family members and relatives contributed in our little ways to help prepare for the big day, the biggest credit I felt is most deserving to my mother.

She did A LOT, subhanallah~

She was the one that did the wedding gifts decorations (gubahan), sent the cards for printing, traveled with my sister to run errands and such. Not to mention preparing dinner and breakfast almost every day. On top of that, my mother performed her hajj with my father this year, alhmdlh.

I came to this theory that no other woman can ever replace your mother - I felt, not even your wife. (Though, she will become a mother by default anyway)

I stumbled upon a hadith, Abu Hurairah (may god be pleased with him) reported:

A person came to Rasulullah (pbuh) and asked, "Who amongst the people is most deserving of my fine treatment?'' Rasulullah said, "Your mother".

He again asked, "Who next?'' "Your mother," the Prophet replied again.

He asked, "Who next?'' He (the Prophet) said again, "Your mother.''

He again asked, "Then who?'' Thereupon he said,'' Then your father.''

The pedestal, a position of high regards that god gave to all mothers is beyond question. For a person who has been with you since you were still in a womb and one that watches you grow and knows your strengths and weakness - subhanallah..

A challenge for me is to find a wife - that would resemble my mother in at least, her spirits and drive.

I believe that to judge and tell how good your future wife will be, is by looking at how good her mother is.

With a solid upbringing a mother provides, she would have endowed the same positive vibes to her own child, bi-idznillah~

If I ever were to love a woman, it is because I love her mother...

- remykm

_____________________

"And among His signs is that He has created for you, from yourselves mates, that you may incline towards them and find tranquility in them and He has engendered love and compassion between you. Surely in this are signs for people who reflect."
- Ar-Rum 30:21

All kinds of roses

2010-12-12T18:04:00.005+08:00

"All kinds of roses, all kinds of roses.
All kinds of roses grow in my garden..."

Another birthday musing~

I realised that I gave flowers, roses to be exact, to people I have feelings for.

Be it my Mum, my sisters.

The girl who I secretly admired.

As much as it has been scientifically proven that women do love to be given flowers as a surprise gift*, the underlying metaphor of flowers being a temporary beauty can be deeply felt if one is to reflect upon its nature.

Perhaps when a guy gives a girl a rose - it is not just to remind how beautiful the rose is..

It is to remind her of the Creator - who creates not just one type of flower..

but even all kinds of roses~

- remykm

__________________

All kinds of creatures, all kinds of creatures.
All kinds of creatures run on my land.
All kinds of children, all kinds of children.
All kinds of children, play in my yard.

So many feelings, so many feel...ings,
Flow through my blood.

All kinds of people, all kinds of people.
All kinds of people make up my life.
All kinds of faces, all kinds of faces.
All kinds of faces show me their love.

All kinds of lanterns, all kinds of lanterns.
All kinds of lanterns, light up the dark.
But there's only one God, only one God,
Has a place in my heart.

All kinds of roses, all kinds of roses.
All kinds of roses grow in my garden.

__________________

*A nationwide survey in March 1996 conducted by Bruskin/Goldring Research shows that more than 9 out of 10 women in US (94 percent) say that flowers mean the most when they receive them as a surprise.

"You can get what you want.."

2010-12-12T07:21:00.004+08:00

A birthday reminder for myself

__________________

Slow down you crazy child
You're so ambitious for a juvenile
But then if you're so smart, tell me
Why are you still so afraid?

Where's the fire, what's the hurry about?
You better cool it off before you burn it out
You got so much to do and only
So many hours in a day...

You know that when the truth is told
You can get what you want
Or you can just get old
You're gonna kick off before you even get
halfway through..
When will you realize?
Vienna waits for you...

Slow down, you're doing fine..
You can't be everything you want to be
before your time
Although it's so romantic on the borderline
tonight, tonight
Too bad but it's the life you lead
You're so ahead of yourself
That you forgot what you need
Though you can see when you're wrong
You know you can't always see when you're right
you're right..

You got your passion, you got your pride
But don't you know only fools are satisfied?
Dream on, but don't imagine they'll all come true..
When will you realize?
Vienna waits for you..

Slow down you crazy child
Take the phone off the hook
And disappear for a while
It's alright you can afford to lose a day or two
When will you realize?
Vienna waits for you..

You know that when the truth is told
You can get what you want
Or you can just get old
You're gonna kick off before you even get
halfway through
Why don't u realize?

She will wait for you...

__________________

Happy birthday Remy
You are doing fine, really~

- remykm

"All kinds of lanterns light up the dark,
but there's only one god, only one god
has a place in my heart~"
(Yusuf)

maybe it's time for miracles

2010-12-04T09:50:00.005+08:00

it's perhaps the most unimaginable thing that i've ever did for someone whom i've known for less than a year's worth of friendship

alhamdulillah - i managed to meet her before she left

prior to that, a friend of mine informed me of her departure

____________

H: Tell me what she gave u first :p

me: she gave me her friendship, that's all

H: :) she b leavin aft subuh. So leave her a msg on her wall wud b my suggestion

____________

leaving messages on people's Fb wall especially someone you hold on dearly to is something that i don't do

so i did the unimaginable

in a P Ramlee movie Seniman Bujang Lapok, you have probably heard of this memorable line by P Ramlee when he was acting as Sultan Aminurrashid with Ajis as Datuk Perdana Menteri and Sudin as Datuk Ahli Nujum Marang Kerapu Skepunden Marang Skeper,

"Kalau begitu, besok pagi sebelum subuh Beta akan sampai!"

and the Tuan Director said, "Cut! Sebelum subuh kau pergi buat apa?! Orang belum bangun tidur!"

I was awake at about 3.34a.m. I msged H but he didn't reply. I texted another friend who was staying near her neighbourhood but perhaps it was too early for anyone to be up. So I decided to go on my own.

I quickly bathed, performed Isya and Maghrib (jamak takhir) and recited a doa. If my actions are favourable to god's eyes, make ease my task~

There was a gift perfume that I bought some time back which I have not given to anyone yet - so I thought it'll make the ideal farewell present to her. Ironically, she is the kind of person who don't accept gifts from anyone without any reason, what more one that costs. She had even once returned me a gift which I gave her last Ramadan. But since she is leaving, I thought perhaps she shouldn't be too hard on me.

The drive to her place was an adventurous moment, really. I roughly know where she stays because I've been to her house with H during hari raya. Driving at almost 110km per hour seating at the edge of my seat with the aid of Google Map on my iPhone and my eyes peering into the dimly litted traffic looking for the street name and block number - subhanallah

When I reached her place it was already close to Subuh - her father was at the door getting ready to leave for work. I introduced myself & verified the reason for my coming - to bid farewell to a friend. She appeared a few minutes later with a puzzled face. She wasn't really that happy to see me - it was more of a "what are you doing here?!" impression that she gave. After exchanging salam, she pointed to her father and said to me, "This is my father."

She didn't invite me in so we were just standing at the door. Her brother in law who just had his bath, appeared later to greet me followed by her elder sister who gave me a warm smile. It was her sister that invited me to come in while she remained a bit agitated by my presence.

"Do you want any drink? Sorry for being a bad host..." she murmured.

I said "No, it's alright."

I clarified the reason for my coming - 2 things:

to bid farewell to her & pass a gift on behalf of the "Brothers"
request for permission to extend the time to borrow her book which she lent me

I told her, "I could not think of any other better way to do this.." as I don't have her number.

"Duduk Remy.." her sister smilingly said. And she asked me whether I want Jasmine Green Tea - and she gave me a Heaven & Earth can from the fridge. I was also offered some ice cream (for a lack of better hospitality in the wee Subuh hours) in which I chose the Wall's Fruitare Kiwi flavour.

We didn't converse much - but the exchange of words was just succinct. I asked about her Mum and I passed her the perfume gift with an envelope. She asked me whether I have done my subuh, in which I said "Belum". So I performed my prayers there.

When we were about to leave the place, her brother in law recited the azan. After which, I helped in the carrying of the luggage as we moved to the carpark. She already had a big bag of gifts from her well-wishers and a pillow as part of her travel baggage.

I took my leave at the carpark and exchange goodbyes to her sister and brother in law. She was still bewildered - neither happy nor sad to see me but it didn't matter I thought - I felt privileged already by the opportunity that god gave me to see her off~ alhmdlh

It is amazing really - how powerful and motivated one can be when driven by affection... every action that you take is just so inspirational

I read in Time Magazine (Jan 2008) The Science of Romance: Why We Love, "..there's the transcendent sense of tenderness you feel towards a person who sparks your interest. There's the sublime feeling of relief and reward when that interest is returned."

The flowers you buy and the poetry you write and the impulsive trip you make to the other side of the world just so you can spend hours in the presence of a lover who's far away..

Feelings and affection can make people do the unimaginable.

It is not impossible then for the P Ramlee script, "Kalau begitu, besok pagi sebelum subuh beta akan sampai!" to come true for people who are driven by affection.

- remykm

______________________

'Baby you know that
Maybe it’s time for miracles
Cause I ain’t giving up on love
You know that
Maybe it’s time for miracles
Cause I ain’t giving up on love
No I ain’t giving up on us...'
- Time for Miracles

the whole world stops and stares for awhile...

2010-11-22T00:34:00.004+08:00

recruitment poster i did for NTUMS -

fitrah who asked me to design the project yusra ad commented, "Ok I saw it! Very pretty :) the poster and the girl haha..."

the actual girl in the poster replied, "MasyaAllah, you're too kind. I'm just another girl-next-door, full stop."

teaser variant for NYF 2010 -

I was pretty much involved in this year's National Youth Forum publicity & promotions right up from designing its official logo to its banners, standees, shirt and posters. Alhmdlh, it's great to see your design work being materialized into something that would benefit the community at large~

Thank you god for the opportunities

- remykm

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"Relationships formed with strangers… It’s beautiful, really. How they become a significant part of your life because they choose to reach out, and you make the decision to lower your guards, and let them into your vulnerabilities." - S

Happy Bday Hilwan

2010-11-17T20:15:00.005+08:00

I got Hilwan something for his birthday -

I remymbered watching Iron Man 2 with him, so I thought getting him an Iron Man toy would be something meaningful.

Hilwan is a very technical person in nature, straightforward and likes craftwork. The quote which I wrote at the side of the gift, "Heroes are not born - they are built" is a reminder of the need to develop one's character and strengths, something which you do not achieve overnight, rather and often over a long period of time.

Even a hero needs to build his own confidence before being capable of saving the world~

- remykm

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“Small heroes master their enemies. Big heroes master themselves.”
– Rumi

Can I be the only hope for you?

2010-10-17T10:29:00.003+08:00

If there's a person I could be
Then I'd be another memory
Can I be the only hope for you?
Because you're the only hope for me
And if we can find where we belong
We'll have to make it on our own
Face all the pain and take it on
Because the only hope for me is you

___________________

*Hehe. Don't have to apologise (not reply) for replying fast, Remy. That's your right. No worries, really.

(See, now I'm flooding your inbox, hehe.)

- Oct 16 2010

Bulletproof, I wish I was

2010-10-11T19:41:00.001+08:00

I don't want to be hurt when it comes to love....god help me~

- remykm

Syawal

2010-10-05T13:14:00.006+08:00

Hmmmm.. i just felt like writing something.

It's 26 Syawal 1431H today - so that means it's almost time to say farewell to hari raya. Though, it's a celebration to be celebrated on one day which is the first of Syawal, Singaporeans esp. the Malay community by tradition, spend the whole month doing visits and exchanging greetings, almost making Syawal a festive month.

I have totally lost count of my 'puasa enam' - I'm not sure whether have I completed 4 or 5 days worth of fast... whatever it is, I'm left with this week to do something about it.

Speaking of hari raya, I'm just fortunate to meet a lot of new people this round. My performance in the last Ramadan has been rather lackluster, sometimes I felt I don't deserve a hari raya yet Syawal has been kind to me.

God has been kind to me.

I would just like to track back and revisit several episodic Eid moments:

____________________

1st Syawal, 10 Sep 2010 - a trip to JB to celebrate raya with relatives and distant family members. My family wore pink this year, a color that we will be in, insylh for my sister's engagement on 25 Sep 2010 & wedding for 2011.

2nd Syawal, 11 Sep 2010 - against the backdrop and 'in memoriam' of the Sep 11 attacks, the hari raya journeys continued to houses of relatives in Singapore.. I discovered that I'm an Uncle - by status now. My cousins who have got married now have kids, the latest addition to the family tree is Emir Herdiman and Salleh Mohd Rozaini- 2 handsome boys in their infancy.

3rd Syawal, 12 Sep 2010 - this is perhaps the most memorable hari raya moment.... I happened to help my friend Hilwan to deliver his mother's cheesecake to the house of someone whom I secretly admire. Sparing some sensitive details and to cut a long story short, so we met at her house and her Mum happened to invite us in for coffee and some food, which was really unexpected. From the visit, I got to know more about her through her Mum as she conversed with us over brunch. I found out that she really like Macaroons, a meringue-like cookie as I saw her eating some while offering us to try them.

According to her sister, she is a "processed person" who never fancies meat in its raw form. Her Mum disclosed further that she has a peculiar personality; she empathizes animals and there was once that she even 'talked' to the kambing korban, lamenting on their fate as they were about to be slaughtered. She would buy tissue paper from a street peddler out of sympathy and she is benign towards women who don't wear tudung (even though she wears one herself). She doesn't shops for clothes but yet she maintains a charming and presentable outlook in her dressing. Her Mum would do the shopping for her. She did not change her handphone when it was spoilt until her father noticed it and bought a new set for her.

The more I learn about these details on her personality, the more I felt I don't deserve her. I have told her in private that she is just "too good to be true". The book that she lent me during Ramadan bears some semblance of her character and I was just stoked by her charm.

I will leave this as a mystery.

8th Syawal, 17 Sep 2010 - I'm officially out of NIE. I got a letter stating that my withdraw case has been approved. This is rather sad news for me - I had wanted to stay on the Counseling course, moreover, I have a classmate who happen to be the sister of the previously mentioned person. I guess I just have to move on and be content with my course at Ntu.

9th Syawal, 18 Sep 2010 - I got a message from 'her' which when read out appeared rather sad and not in my favour. The following days turned out rather bleak for me. I cried and felt very sinful suddenly. It had also been raining heavily during the entire week and I went missing for classes at NIE till someone posted on my Facebook wall, "beb...u dissapeared the whole week.." and she suggested that I needed an 'existential therapy'. I replied back to her saying that what I really need is 'etah-terrestrial' therapy.

Understanding what I meant, she aptly replied, "..no wonder they say when the AFFECT takes over, the COGNITION goes wayyy down.."

Feeling very down, I wrote on Khadijah Md Hussain's wall, "If one is feeling sinful even after taubat, what will be your advise..." She replied a few days later, "sedangkan dengan manusia biasa kte disuruh berbaik sangka.. inikan pula dengan Pencipta Manusia Yang Maha Pemaaf?"

Another friend of mine, Muhammad Suhaidi bin Jamil, shared with me "Kullu bani Adam al-'hattaa-un, wa khairu al-'hattaa-iina at tawwabun", setiap anak adam itu berdosa dan sebaik-sebaik orang yang berdosa itu adalah mereka yang bertaubat..

sigh~

11th Syawal, 20 Sep 2010 - It was my Mum's bday. We had a very decent celebration - pizzas at home. Earlier that day, a student of mine Marly Omar came to my house with her DAVP classmates of which I only recognised Nurliana Ishak, Afiq and Lee Na (Azlina). Afiq, approached me saying, "Cikgu, saya mintak maaf eh.." When I looked at his eyes and shook his hand, I felt that he really meant what he said. I was very touched by this.

15th Syawal, 24 Sep 2010 - Went out jalan raya with my ITE class AD091M. It was very memorable... first time I saw Ruz, AZ, Asrul, Syafiq, Efy, Ydee, Shaz, Sidah, Azryna, Effah, Samantha, Sora, Yan, Yandi, Masturah, Zaiton and Eqa in baju Melayu! Even Hafiz from AD094V joined us and he was the joker during the entire trip. We took lots and lots of pictures which will be remembered for years ahead. We visited our P.E teacher, Mr Rahman at Jalan Tenaga - he cried at the last part when we shook his hands asking for forgiveness. We spent $300 in total for the rented 13-seater Mercedes van with a driver who is my good friend, Kak Hamidah's husband.

16th Syawal, 25 Sep 2010 - My elder sis, Rahayu's engagement. Was very happy to see her finally realising her wish of finding her soulmate. Ust Zahret, my father, my Malaysian uncle led the majlis and everything turned out well...alhmdlh.

17th Syawal, 26 Sep 2010 - Eid celebration was held at Darul Arqam. I met her to greet her. She wore blue - and it was the same shade of blue as the baju Melayu that I was wearing. I was just happy to notice that and she noticed it too. Later that day, the celebration for DaccnDays was held at Madrasah Aljunied.. I bummed into Fariheen, her husband and their child Toybah. Fariheen now dons a niqab, and she smiles only through her eyes.

The DaccnDays teachers went for jalan raya afterwhich and we had a great time visiting the teachers' houses staying in the East. The experience seating behind the pick-up at night which travelled at 70 miles per hour was just exhilarating. Ismam Pepeco is a very fun person to be with! He joked all the way during the journey. Thank you Bro Syah, Bro Firda-oos, Bro Rahiman, Sis Suhaily, Sis Sarah Hamzah, Sis Rabi'Atul, Fathin and other teachers for making my day. Though I upset my Mum that night because we canceled the idea of coming to our house because it was very, very late.

23rd Syawal, 2 Oct 2010 - NYPMS Jalan Raya! I joined in late after Asar because I was helping my parents with their hajj preparation with Shahidah Travels. I drove to Mjd Darul Aman at Eunos just in time to meet my beloved NYPMSN comrades, majority now are alumnis! I saw Hilwan, Firdaus, Azmi and Azhar also in another red car while the our juniors took the rented bus. We went to Cikgu Pauzi's house before proceeding to Nadiah's, Cikgu Zul's and finally my house. It ended late close to midnight - I had to send Hilwan, Nadzeef, Sis Nabilah and Sis Hidayah Nessa back. I told my NYPMSN comrades to pray for my parents who will be performing hajj this year insylh.

24th Syawal, 3 Oct 2010 - I went with Mum to Climb Asia at Farrer Park to get my first climbing shoes - a La Sportiva Katana (velcro). After much consideration over the Evolv Optimus Prime and the Katana, I decided to choose the Katana which was recommended by my cousin Izzuan Sa'adon who is wearing the Muira. The Katana was a size 4.5 US men (2 to 3 size down my normal shoe street size of 7) and it was coincidentally the last pair. I fell in love with it while trying them on though it's really super-tight. I'm looking forward to climb with Hilwan & Adi at Climber's Lab on 6th October.

25th Syawal, 4 Oct 2010 - Mohksin Rashid invited a few of his close friends to his house for raya. Mohksin has been a close friend of mine, though I don't get a chance to meet him often.. in fact I didn't see him at all last Ramadan in which he became the Ramadan Youth Challenge Ambassador. Hilwan, Muhaymin Sopii, Nur Azhar Azman (who is currently on NS block leave), Andik Irwan Amirullah were amongst those present with other familiar sisters, Nur Aisyah (NYP) and Shahida Abdullah~

The memorable part was when Muhaymin started to share his working experience with the rest of the brothers. He is currently a Research Nurse with NUS and he drives a China-made Hafei Minz 7 seater 1.1 litre van that reached us home that night. He informed us about his uncle's death and his sad experience with Hospital Sultanah Aminah Johor Bahru and it was poignantly sad. I almost saw him crying while driving us to Yishun that night.

That same night upon reaching home, I texted Nur Aisyah, informing her that it was nice meeting her and Shahida at Mohksin's place though I admitted that I was shy to say hi to them. She could not help but to notice 'The Ideal Muslimah' book I was carrying that night. It was the book that I borrowed from that 'someone'~

I guess that pretty much wraps up my Syawal and hari raya. I hope I'll get that privilege to meet Ramadan and Syawal again.

- remykm

__________________

"....Allah divided Mercy into one-hundred parts and He kept its ninety-nine parts with Him and sent down its one part on the earth, and because of that, its one single part, His creations are Merciful to each other, so that even the mare lifts up its hoofs away from its baby animal, lest it should trample on it."

- as told by the Prophet s.a.w, narrated by Abu Hurairah, Sahih Bukhari (Volume 8, Book 73, Number 29)

"If you are not happy within then you won't be able to share that happiness with anyone else."

- as quoted by 'someone' through FB

Ramadan @ NTU

2010-09-07T20:54:00.004+08:00

It would take a miracle for someone average like me to be studying at ntu.

But, alhmdlh. Here I am, blogging live from Tan Tong Meng PC Laboratory at Wee Kim Wee Sch of Communication and Information.

The journey from ite tamp to ntu has been tiring and time-consuming. I usually sleep during my train rides. Being a Ramadan, the experience added a touch of spiritual tinge and gave me some motivation. I'm also fortunate to have Shahida's sister, Sabrena as my classmate! (:

Tonight's lesson has been interesting. I learn about effective information search. The search engine that we are using is driven by LexisNexis Academic and is SOO much better than Google "I'm Feeling Lucky"Search!

Searching through Boolean Operators, I learnt about the "OR, "AND" and "NOT" operations.

To search about news items on the 'Opening Ceremony of Youth Olympic Games' for example, you need to:

Search for: olympic games in Healine & Lead

And: "Youth Olympic Games" OR "YOG" OR "Youth Olympics" in Headline & Lead

for All available dates in Major World Publications

and voila, your search is refined to the subject matter!

Another example, to search on 'cases happened in UK regarding software piracy':

You use the Power Search function and type: software AND (piracy OR infring! OR illegal)

There are also other special typing commands to do an effective & refined search for other subject matters such as Journals, Legal Cases and Company Profiles. You can even search on People.... hehe.

alright, class just ended. Now going back home~

- remykm

________________________________

"May Allah make things easy for both of us bro. It's a challenging, challenging time, and we sure need His guidance. Fi amanillah!" - S

Fasting from Facebook

2010-09-01T22:09:00.002+08:00

I'm trying to better my fasting.

So many people logging on Facebook - I'm drowned by everyone else's status updates. Is there anyone who pays attention anyway?

With the new FB movie release due in October 2010, I wonder what does it take to have soo many friends yet feeling so lonely~

- remykm

_________________

"Therefore remember Me, I will remember you, and be thankful to Me, and do not be ungrateful to Me."
- Al-Baqarah:152

a random Ramadan

2010-08-14T15:14:00.015+08:00

while being logged on Facebook in Ramadan, I spotted this...

lol...this is very random of Facebook and I've always wondered if randomness is another form of coincidence..

There are people that you met in your life - you either like them or dislike them not because of who they are but what they make themselves to be. Or perhaps people change over time but you do not know whether it's for the good or bad - and because of this you do not know whether to like them or hate them.

Is life really about liking and hating? Does this feeling changes and keep on changing for as long as we are still alive?

Feelings can be really random.

Speaking of random, I foresee that my Ramadan this time round would be a random one. Honestly, I'm not prepared for it but nevertheless I look forward to it as every fasting day passes by.

My first week of Ramadan has been rather improper but nevertheless interesting.

I did my prayers by combining Zuhur & Asar, Maghrib & Isyak and skipped tarawih at the masjid. Up till this fourth day of fasting, I haven't get to break my fast with my family.

My time was spent mostly at the Youth Olympic Village located at NIE (NTU) where the international athletes for the Singapore Youth Olympic Games resided. I broke my fast with strangers: Ng Jun Xian and Xin Yin Cai at the YOG Workforce Dining Hall. Both Jun Xian and Xin Yin are my YOG buddies. We only known each other for less than a week but we have been working well together at the Media Workroom handling queries from international & local reporters and journalists that cover the YOG.

I'm being assigned as a Media Operations Supervisor and the jobscope has been pretty much satisfying. It's more towards Media communication and liaising - we interacted closely with reporters, arranging interviews, prepare interview rooms and media materials that support the process.

Working at the Youth Olympic Village has been fun. We get to rub shoulders with athletes and reporters from Brazil, Holland, South Africa, Jamaica, Argentina, France, America, Croatia, Mexico, Iran, Turkey and many more. And these athletes are really, really, really good looking. They are very young 14-18 age range, very tall, smell good and have well-toned bodies which make me & my YOG buddies very jealous! We Asians are sooo small built and we can't even kick a ball properly!

The thing which I really like about being a YOG volunteer is the fact that we get other perks such as a pre-paid EZ link card with free multiple bus rides and 4 free train rides, free drinks such as Coke, 100 Plus, Dasani mineral water, Heaven & Earth Lemon Tea and my favourite Minute Maid Pulpy Orange!! There is this Coca Cola Fridge in the Media Workroom and we get to take the drinks anytime. Dinner is also provided and I really like SFI food catering until there was this controversy going on about a YOG volunteer who posted up a feedback on Facebook regarding the food quality that made the organizers change their patron.

I think this rather sad for a Singaporean to be complaining about food really... tsk. Come on, you should try fasting! Appreciate your food and the people that have gone through the trouble preparing them for you...

Reporting for YOG duty at NTU has been tiring - waiting for bus rides and walking around NTU and NIE... There was once I took the wrong YOG bus that alighted at the Residential area of YOV and I could not access the area because my Accreditation pass only allow me to enter via the Main YOV entrance.

I will be spending my YOG moments at Singapore Sports School in the days to come before coming back to Youth Olympic Village on the 22 August.

Never thought, I would spend my Ramadan doing this really... but I will definitely spare time to read the Quran and perform tarawih - the two acts which are deemed honourable in this month.

Till the next random post~

- remykm

_________________________________-

"If I could rearrange the alphabet,
I'd put U and I together."
(a FB status update from someone)

"Fasting is for Me (god) and I will reward for it.
He gives up his desire and his food and drink for My sake."
(Hadith Qudsi, narrated by al-Bukhaari)

Untitled

2010-08-01T09:54:00.003+08:00

I think this is going to be another untitled blogpost.

I'm angry with some of my students.

I could not help but to think about them everyday. The more I care for them, the more they will take advantage of me.

I have made up my mind to help students who are only sincere. Who don't give excuses. Who don't break promises. Who don't play me out the last minute.

Because I'm also a human being with feelings.

- remykm

_________________________________

"Hari ini kau mainkan cikgu....esok lusa cikgu mainkan kau pulak.."

"The hardest part of moving forward is not looking back~"

Tampines~

2010-07-23T21:23:00.002+08:00

It is unjustifiably & inevitably unceremonious that my next blog entry should be entitled, "Tampines" for reasons perhaps only a few of my loyal blog readers would know......lol as if I have loyal blog readers!

Sometimes writing these things make me feel even much more lonelier~

The reason why I write postings is just to keep my sanity in check. Friday being the only day that I could catch some breath after a tiring week. Even my weekends were spent outdoors either attending classes or family outings.

Oh well, many things have happened lately and I just felt that they deserve some mentioning.

1) My Best Friend's Wedding
Yayness. My best friend Adi Asputra Sarip got married on 4th July 2010, Independence Day to the lovely Rufihaza Ramlee. I have a few best friends (people whom I very close to and I confide in with), Adi happens to be one of those surviving ones. We met while we were studying at NYP.

I remember him being very committed towards mussollah cleanliness - there are around 7 praying spots in our campus and we used to conduct spring cleaning together going from one block to the other to clean the mussollahs. Adi and me were one of the earliest people to initiate this spring cleaning which later on transpired to the orthodox version of Nypms. We were later joined by people whom we bummed into at the mussolah, Ishak, Hazirah, Siti, Ain, Hakeem, Hamizah and Sufi..One of the memorable project that we did include an iftar (breaking of fast) at Mjd Kampung Pasiran, iftar at Muttaqin and Project Zip! - a humanitarian aid to help the Tsunami victims in Aceh.

My NYP experience wouldn't have been colorful if not for Adi and these people.

So Adi's wedding was something special for me. I was chosen to be his best man and driver! Lol, I get to drive Rufi's father's Toyota Wish and best of it all I accompanied them to take intimate wedding shots at Chinese Garden.

2) Irwan Shah's aqad
Ok, I don't know Ustaz Irwan that well. We happened to meet when Mohksin sought my help in video editing to facilitate Ghufran's submission for the 8 Minutes (Ramadan) video competition in 2008. I also met Ustaz Irwan when we saw Nur Asrul Effendi off at the airport when he left for UK, Newcastle.

Anyways, I was invited to attend Ustaz Irwan's aqad on 17 July 2010 at Ghufran. What's special about this is the bride, Shahila Abdullah who sooo happened to be the sister of someone whom I......

(this part will be confidential)

3) Father's birthday
On the same day of Ustaz Irwan's aqad, my father turned 53. We visited nenek at a neighbourhood hospital (KTPH) and cut a cake at her ward in the presence of our family members and relatives. We prayed for blessings and happiness. My relatives from Malaysia came, Naqib, Iqa, I'in, Adam and Aisya! Aisya was really adorable msylh, and she brightened up the ward with her childlike charm.

4) Elder sis's birthday
We got for our elder sis, "Twilight" by Sarah Jessica Parker perfume, god knows how many SJP perfumes I bought this month for several people including Beth! I also got my sis "The Ideal Muslimah" by Muhammad Al Hashimi after reading a FB wall conversation between Nur Aisya and Shahida who happened to be talking about it.

We dined at Vintage cafe near Bussorah Street that night with sis's fiancé's family.

5) Tampines~
and so this points back to the title of this blogpost.

I never thought I would be travelling to this place almost every weekday. Tampines remains to me a magical place ever since secondary school days. I have this theory that all the good looking people comes from Tampines and when Ramadan and Hari Raya comes, Tampines has always been romantic when all those lampu lap lips are litted at people's houses! subhanallah..

Bus rides to Tampines has beeng long but I have always look forward to the journey going back home.

I fell in love with the Ice Blended drinks at ITE Tampines... my favourite Chocolate Chip with Banana Ice Blend!! And it costs around $2.40 only!! So much cheaper than any Starbucks or Coffee Bean put together.

alright, i'll stop ranting for now

I'm looking forward to Ramadan <3

- remykm

____________

"If the moon can linger in the morning so bright,
why can't the sun do the same at night?"

Missing the holidays~

2010-07-09T23:49:00.009+08:00

The June holidays were spent mostly at ITE Simei, by far the best ITE campus I've ever been to in terms of cleanliness, ambience and facilities.

I was undergoing the PCTE course for the entire June holidays hence it wasn't so much of a holiday for me. It was definitely a break from seeing my 'colorful' ADO91M students and I hanged out mostly with other ITE lecturers.

The Pedagogic Certificate in Technical Education (PCTE) is a training that every lecturer needs to go through before being qualified to teach a technical subject at tertiary level. It has been a refreshing experience meeting other lecturers from other campuses - by closest buddy during the PCTE would be Afnie! - a very pretty and bubbly lady who has a cute daughter~ my other team members include Estan from CCK campus, Adrian & Magdalene from Bishan campus, Jauy from Simei campus, Wei Siang from Yishun campus and Zai from Tampines.

The everyday routine during the course was study, eat, study, karaoke, study, eat, go home...which I don't mind really but having to do that every day makes the process monotonous. I did met up with my students during our class chalet on 27, 28 & 29 June and met up with Ruz, Efy, Ydee, Leon & Aida during a Co-Op photoshoot held at ITE Simei on 30th June.

There was also an SAF Re-Dedication Day held during the course and the male teachers were required to put on their Army uniform! Ha,ha...it was amusing!

Some memorable snapshots~

Camwhoring using Jauy's MacBook Pro

Adrian, Afnie, Meg, Estan, Jauy & me!!

Lunch retreat at Tampines One, Fish

PCTE course participants

Teachers in army uniform for the SAF Re-Dedication Ceremony

Co-op Photoshoot @ ITE Simei

I came all the way just to wish you happy birthday

2010-06-26T12:15:00.005+08:00

So I came...
all the way..
just to wish her..
happy birthday~

- I don't think she'll do the same for me

I asked a good friend of mine whether it's worth giving someone a gift when you know she's not going to love you..

The reply came, "Love is an investment - even if you don't get anything back in return, the person whom you love will remember you and your kindness when she is alone by herself, she'll smile thinking about you."

- remykm

______________________________

"I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all."
(Alfred Lord Tennyson, In Memoriam:27, 1850)

Who is Beth~

2010-06-15T13:39:00.002+08:00

"Cinta adalah misteri dalam hidupku...
Yang tak pernah ku tahu akhirnya..."

- Ungu

___________________________

>:B remykm

Let's Haunt Beth

2010-06-13T04:53:00.004+08:00

i made a new friend today .... yay~ alhmdlh

she's from NYP taking the motion graphics course & in the same class as Shane, Ayim, Zakk, Hafriz, Syafeeqa (Phique) and Khairulddin...... and i think she rocks!

we are complete strangers but we have already started talking about God, heaven and love~ oouuh~

i find her very witty - clever with words and spunky... shane finds her "sweet and tall and downright annoying!" shane said that she likes to 'kacau orang ngah buat kerja'.

ha,ha...oh well, i've been looking around really.. i need companionship

maybe i'll find one from a stranger like Beth

oh, by the way, they called her NAF...

- remykm

_______________________

i just love this quote from her~

"Everyone should be anonymous when they have the chance.
It keeps the mystery alive."
- Let's Haunt Beth Facebook profile description

Sis's Bday~

2010-06-13T04:19:00.006+08:00

so, we celebrated ana's bday at Yishun in early June.. a surprise organised by elder sis who got the restaurant crew to bring in a birthday cake for her...sweet. My sis bought for her...wait a minute... what did she get for her?? lol, i forgot... and she will scold me for forgetting!!

The bday celebration was memorable because both of my sisters invited their fiancés along... (I'm the only one in the family that is still single!!) My father could not join in for the bday dinner but we met up later for a durian supper at Geylang~

It was the same durian place that I went before...the only change is that they made the space bigger to accommodate more & provide big baskets to dispose the durian seeds~ i saw my mum and dad happily choosing the durians... sisters had fun - i had another 'durian affair'..he,he.

I wanted to get an Estee Lauder make-up kit for ana (the gift being suggested by efy) but I got for her a Sheila on 7 t-shirt instead.. My pay day has not come yet! I hope she likes pink~

may god bless ur age ana.... and may u be a good daughter, sister and wife-to-be insyaallah...

- remykm

Terlanjur mencintai dirimu

2010-05-29T01:33:00.003+08:00

Seberapa salahkah diriku
Hingga kau sakiti aku begitu menusukku,
Inikah caramu membalas
Aku yang selalu ada saat kau terluka

Seberapa hinanya diriku
Hingga kau ludahi semua yang ku beri untukmu,
Tak ada satu pun perasaan yang mampu
membuatku begitu terluka..

Namun ku terlanjur mencintai dirimu,
Terlambat bagiku, pergi darimu..
Bagiku terlalu indah perasaan itu,
Tak mudah untukku,
menjauh darimu...

Telah ku coba segala cara ‘
Tuk bahagiakan kamu Merebut hatimu..
Namun tak semudah yang ku bayangkan..
Bila kau tak inginkan ku ’tuk di sisimu

Tak pernah kurasakan sebelumnya
Menginginkan dirinya hingga ku tak kuasa
Meyakini hatiku bahwa ku mampu berlalu...

Namun ku terlanjur mencintai dirimu...
Terlambat bagiku pergi darimu
Bagiku terlalu indah perasaan itu
Tak mudah untukku menjauh darimu......

- "Dilema Cinta" (Ungu)

____________________

Of need & wants

2010-05-19T16:14:00.009+08:00

I need a girlfriend.

Or maybe a wife, period. I'm stressed. With life & work.. I can't even talk properly now. When people asked me "How are you?", it would probably take me a while to answer the question. what am i saying..

I've been wanting to know how is it like to be on a date. Not that I've never been into one. But I've always thought that relationships should be made official. Just like on Facebook, one would put in his status, "In a Relationship with...." It's just like saying that girl is mine & is taken - so don't try to flirt with her.

I guess I never really had a relationship. An official one. One that I can proudly declare on Facebook. what am i saying...?

So instead of focussing on relationships (which I felt what I really need) I start to focus on my wants....

1) First on my list is the Tan Tien~

The boys from the vLee class (AD094V), Raazaaq, Khai, Donovan, have been persistently asking me to buy a longboard & go longboarding with them. I'm old enough to be their father really but I wouldn't mind to go skating again. I have been a big Muska fan and in love with skateboarding since its early craze in the early 1990s. The Tan Tien is Loaded's highly anticipated longboard model for 2010 which has a foot-locking concave, a drop-thru truck mounting and pumpable camber with responsive nose and tail kicks. The grip-tape design looks very stylish and I just love the design & technology behind the board.

Tan Tien is defined as the center of gravity and the seat of the life force in yogic and East Asian thought. It's a very clever name to name after a longboard because in longboarding, you need balance to stay in control and on your feet.

Metaphorically, I needed balance in my life.

2) The Second thing on my mind is a new pair of shoes. And it has to be Supra.

Navy / Black

Black / Gold

White "Cinco de Drinko"

I've already got a Supra, White TUF Muska Skytop which I used for work and a Vans Chambray Old Skool. The thought of getting another pair is just me being materialistic. My ITE students are materialistic to some extent and perhaps I got hooked up on their personality.

I wanted to get a new Skytop because currently my White Skytop gets dirty easily. I LOVE white shoes and I had spent on a shoe shampoo, shoe whitener and shoe deodorant balls especially to preserve the lifespan of my white shoes. I asked Ihsan and Falisha which colorway is nice, between the white "Cinco de Drinko"limited edition Skytop, the Black/Gold and the Navy/Gold and they chose the Navy/Gold.

I have always admire shoes and I tend to judge people by the shoes they wear. Shoes are sometimes being overlooked because you don't see people's feet when you talk to them.

I need something to get myself back on my feet.

3) Efy has been in talking terms with me and I thought that's good for a change in my life. I hope she remains sober, rationalistic and not temperamental or unpredictable.
.
.
.

I'm going back to work, now.

My work is really about people management. I deal a lot with people and their idiosyncrasies.

what am i saying...?

help me god..

- remykm

_______________________

"He who asks pardon (seeking forgiveness) is not considered an insistent on a sin, even if he returns to his sin seventy times a day."

(hadith reported by Abu Dawood & al-Tirmizi)

Back to the real world~

2010-04-27T22:13:00.001+08:00

There's probably someone out there who is still reading my blog. No matter how boring I felt I can be as a person - my often over-rated post entries, making a small thing or information looking big, the cheesy pictures that I uploaded etc. - the thought of having someone out there, who bother to google search my name to find out more about my life & chancing upon this blog may seem rather comforting if not, sweet.

And that's probably why I kept on writing. There's this small motivation in me in wanting to tell others what I'm up to with my life - but never to shout or scream about it; I'm not trying to get attention.

I'm back from a super long break. I've not been at ITE AMK (my workplace) for more than a month due to a 2 week PCTE teacher's training at ITE Dover followed by another 2 week reservist in-camp training at Jurong Camp 2 (Infantry Training Institute).

I don't think any of my colleagues or students miss me though occasionally I would get text messages from Ruzaili asking me how I was doing.

I guess I'm no one special. (My students who got back from Perth, apparently didn't get me any souvenir.) Probably, I expect too much.

I'm beginning to appreciate hardships in life. The last in-camp training have taught me that civilisation can be cruel & nature is a form of escapism from the maddening crowd. I became more close to my reservist mates & made new friends - LCP Murad, Hanafi, Mursyid, HQ CSM Junhao Yeo, CPL Azrul, Suffian, 2SG Iskandar, Sazali, Suryadi, MTO LTA Andrew, Alpha CSM Jonathan, Charlie CSM Azhar etc. These people made my reservist memorable.

We went through the training together in the hot sun & the intermitten rain. Our Stage 1 ATEC performance was a Recon 2A with a special mention on MT Platoon who got Recon 1 for Vehicle Camouflaging. I'm proud of my MT Platoon.

I drove a lot of times during training - sending troops & commanders to Lim Chu Kang training area & Pasir Laba Camp. We did our ATEC at BCTC (Pasir Laba) and BUA training at Lim Chu Kang (Jalan Murai).

During small conversations with my reservist mates, there were a few who were surprised to know that I'm teaching at ITE. I'm pretty small built and perhaps that's why I'm often being overlooked for my potential.

It was also during this in-camp training that I got to know from my family of my successful admission to NIE / NTU. Alhmdlh..this is good news. Insylh, I will be taking my post-graduate masters in Counselling & Guidance in August 2010.

I guess I'm now back to the real world - Will be teaching Falisha's class this time round, I must admit I do look forward in meeting her, (woots!) Ihsan & the rest. I'm also looking forward to going out with my students, Ruz, AZ, Asrul, Sidah & gang to Marina Barrage to play layang-layang.

Looking forward to catch up with my new found friend, Afnie, Juay, Estan & Magdalene for our 2nd round of PCTE in June too.

Looking forward for a relationship that leads to marriage & family~

Hope good things come this way. God willing.

- remykm

"..let the wind blow hard, I don't mind..."
- Green Fields & Golden Sands (Yusuf)

_________________________
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Save me in your playlist~

2010-03-14T09:23:00.011+08:00

I've got a lot of things ahead of me~ I'm going to do a quick update on what's up with my life.

1) Engagement - Saturday 6 March 2010~

The turn-out was great alhmdlh. Our relatives from both, mother & father side came with my sister's fiancé's family. I felt happy to be witnessing this occasion and looking forward myself to see the family grow.

I really value relationships and marriage. I see the importance of finding a life-partner and planning your life ahead; looking after your parents, your wife, your siblings, your kids.

2) Fly with Falisha - 8 March 2010~

It was my first time on the Singapore Flyer and the experience 165 metres above ground was simply amazing - msylh. I've always thought who would be with me if I'm up there in the sky. Was very fortunate to be with a bunch of cool people:

Me, Ihsan and...Ira! woots~

Cool shot of the flyer wheel

The 12 people you'll meet in heaven~

Guys being guys - Ira looked rather disturbed

Mr Jumberi slammed down everyone else..Ira finally laughing~

Ira took this shot!

Who's the man? Ruz told us to point while he shoot~

Me!

Alhmdlh~ Hope to get more exciting memories ahead.

- remykm

____________________

"...So save me in your playlist
so you won't forget this...
and if things don't quite go your way
you'll still have me on replay..."

- Yuna

New shoes~

2010-03-01T02:28:00.000+08:00

It has been a while since I last post something here. I could have write about many things - but I'm choosing now to write about my new shoes.

Eversince the day my mum got me the iPhone, I've been doing many things with it, subhanallah. I never thought this gadget would become something so intimate - perhaps too intimate.

Even at this point, I'm writing this blogpost lying down on bed. I check my mails now on the phone, tweet, FB, find qiblah directions with the digital compass and directions with google maps, check prayer timings, listen to songs & lectures on iPod...it's amazing. So many things that can be done with the bliss of a robust wi-fi connectivity.

Yet, I'm not too happy with all this.

I've become almost too dependable on it that I have to confess that I fall easily to temptations & at many times, I got distracted.

I felt that I've become detached from the physical world & reality.

Like an avatar, the virtual world now has become the tangible - whereas reality has become a dream.

I felt something amiss.

I need to be loved. I want to feel the warmth of a human touch, to appreciate a beautiful smile as it is being crafted infront on me, to smell the natural fragrance of relationship.

The iPhone cannot give me that.

I cannot depend too much on it -because I don't want to be trap in a virtual mimickery of happiness.

I got the white shoes above with my mum and sis.

I pray that the shoes could take me to places where reality and true love do exist~

(remykm)

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

__________________________

"A person will be with whom he loves.."
-Rasullah s.a.w

Avatar

2010-01-19T21:36:00.003+08:00

It has been on my mind.

Avatar~

I've been contemplating on getting a few Avatar toys - the Amp Suit, the RDA Gunship Vehicle, the Direhorse, Jake's Banshee and of course the Leonopteryx. They are pretty costly of course and tempting. I wanted to save the money for more important things - emergency use, car, marriage etc. Even my sisters reminded me that I need to be careful with my money.

I already got the Jake Sully on a wheelchair action figure though. Heavily inspired by the movie and especially the character - Jake Sully; I wanted a form of escapism from this routine life.

There are many things that I wish I can do but I couldn't achieve them due to my limitations. Perhaps, I just need to wait. Even longer~

Today is something special, alhmdlh.

For the first time, (I think) Sora bought me a Pokka Lychee Tea drink.

Ira Falisha came up at my office desk with Renny asking me to print her group Lifeskills Assignment on races in Singapore. It was a bit of a surprise. In a soothingly sweet & squeaky tone, the words, "Mr Remy, can you help me print something...." were muttered as she approached me from behind and passed me a SanDisk thumbdrive.

I was nervous. Ha,ha. She reminds me of an old childhood crush. I can't afford to have any crush now - sigh~

The assignment did not bear any name so I helped her typed her name with Renny, Pamela, Wilson and Aiyu. I even suggested to her that she should get her pages numbered.

For the past and even now, I realised that I have been too nice to many students, I think. I wondered if they will ever remymber me for that. And I'm not sure whether I should continue being nice to them.

From my teaching experience thus far, there are 2 kinds of students - those who need help and those who do not wish to be helped.

I have spent a huge fraction of my money to treat my class lunch, dinner and several outings. I helped them in their assignments - even to the extent of cutting their mounting board, printing their artwork and pasting them on the boards. It's ridiculous for a teacher to be doing these - even the finest, little things for his students but hey that's me.

They are students who thanked me be it verbally or through their actions.

There are a few other great things that I have done for my students - but it's not worth mentioning here, for now.

I have never ask anything in return from them but I wish they will remymber me.

The day will come when I will be leaving ITE - as I wanted to do bigger things in life. But if I were to leave these students, I wonder whether will there be another kind-hearted teacher to look after them.

- remykm

New Post

2010-01-12T23:17:00.005+08:00

My new year resolutions~

To be connected in style

To be driven by passion

To be loved unconditionally~

I got a new phone recently, alhmdlh after much consideration and it has been a metaphoric decision. My previous Sony Ericsson K618i has now become a distant memory. All the nostalgic mushy text messages that I have saved or refused to delete due to some sentimental attachments have safely been archived in that phone. Perhaps one day when I decide to look back at my past, I can simply slot in a SIM card to view and read the messages again.

The reason for me in getting the new phone is actually about moving on.

I was on my way to school yesterday and as usual the queue to Bus 72 was long. Hannah Maria and my student Sufiyan Bohari approached me suddenly from my left wanting to join me in the queue.

It was a pleasant surprise hearing Hannah's sweet & squeaky voice, "Mr Remeeee!" and she smiled revealing her blue studded braces. We ended talking about each other's braces while waiting for Bus 72. Hannah noticed my upper teeth appeared to be more straightened. She later offered me a Chicken Ham pie that she and Sufiyan bought from Pie Kia at CCK for breakfast. I really appreciate this little surprises~

While in the bus, I observed the couple from a distance and thought how sweet it was to be still young, naive and in a relationship. Sufiyan has been improving a lot in terms of attendance and doing class assignments - I've got to thank Hannah for it. It's amazing how being in a relationship can change a person.

I'm also glad to see Aishah, my ex-student, previously from DMD, rejoining back to school as a DAVP student this year. From her face, I can tell how excited she was - it is perhaps the sheer joy of meeting friends and teachers, having to do school work and using school facilities that motivates Aishah to return to studying~

I have decided to stop taking night classes this year to focus more on my personal development. I will also be cutting down on my expenditure to save more money - so I won't be attending the Green Day concert, Paramore, The Killers etc.

I've been wanting to save money to buy a car - I'm setting my eyes on the Volvo C30 as driven by Mr Edward Cullen in Twilight.

Lol~ this is one expensive car! It's priced at S$106, 699 before COE and it's only just a four-seater hatchback! How am I going to tumpang my family or students? Perhaps I could settle for a Honda Civic Type-R or a Mitsubishi Lancer Ex.

I will still be saving anyways for my future plan to settle down and have children.

I've been wanting to have a pretty wife really - or at least one that can make me smile every time I lay my eyes on her. According to a famous hadith by the Prophet s.a.w, "A woman is married because of 4 factors: her wealth, her beauty, her lineage and her faith. Choose the woman that has faith and surely you will be saved."

So based on the above, I will go for a faithful and pretty woman insylh =) I think if your wife is pretty, at least it helps you to be more faithful to her by not looking at other women.

It is still a long way for me.

so help me god~

- remykm

Remyniscencing 2009

2010-01-01T03:10:00.011+08:00

This would be the first entry for 2010 1431 H.

It is amazing, alhmdlh, to be able to continue doing this - journalizing my life albeit through a blog. As 2010 awaits another round of episodic adventures ahead for me, I start to reflect on my yesteryear.

2009 had been a great and memorable journey. As a form of gratitude or an ode to this eventful year, I have created a list of awards given to the specific moments or person/people who have somewhat contributed in making 2009 special to me~

I call this the Remymberance Awards 2009:

________________________________

Person of the Year Award: Ibu
Other nominees include my father and two sisters

The award is given to Ibu because she has done a lot more that the rest; she cooks, wakes everyone up, send everyone to work, fetch us from work, washes the dishes, cleans the house, did the groceries, did the handwashing for sensitive garments, beautify the house and settle most of the bills...... the list goes on. Qualities of a good wife~

Best Buddy Award: Psyful
Nominees: Hilwan, Adi, Zo, Jean

I don't believe in a best friends forever fad but I do have close pals that I hang out with. Buddies are people who are close to you at work and leisure. Psyful won this title because of his great & sincere enthusiasm in wanting to put things in the right place - He is not a perfect friend or neither do I see him everyday but he hovers around to ask "How are you?"s and such. He is also currently the saviour of the almost defunct MVAC.

Best Student Award: Ruzaili
Nominees: Moh Wen Ni, Wu Heng, Sora

I teach at a local technical education school for tertiary level on weekdays, night classes for adult learners and weekend children class. The award is not given due to academic achievements or talent. Ruzaili stands out from the other students that I have taught because of his good manners. He smiles at times of adversity, rarely show anger or throw tantrums (kurang ajar or rude). He has volunteered in doing a lot of things - staying back to help clean the class, taken photos for school events without even asking to be paid. Other students would do something for their teachers because they wanted something in return i.e. money, grades. Ruzaili doesn't have ulterior motives.

Best Groupie Award: BIRKH Classmates
Nominees: DACC teachers, NYPMS, Pakcik-pakcik ITE

Groupie are people or group whom I mix around with on an occasional but intimate basis. This year's award goes to my fair-weather friends from Pergas BIRKH Cohort 4. We meet at a rate of twice a month for our part time degree course. Our age range varies a lot though that doesn't stop us from coming together to attend classes and minum kopi/teh at Kembangan. A special mention for my thesis group pals: Akhi Mohd Razak Yusof, Haji Haron Mename and Haji Sahud Mohamad. You guys rock.

Best Live Music Performace Award: Hujan Live in Singapore (RP) - 7 Oct 2009
Nominees: Evening with Yuna at Art House, Mocca 10th Anniversary at SAM, Coldplay Live at Singapore Indoor Stadium

I was the first one to buy the tickets at Muzika Records when the news from Hafriz (FMSA) came in about Hujan having a concert at the Republic Polytechnic. The Hujan band members are a very candid bunch especially Noh and I got all of them to sign my Epiphone Les Paul guitar during the Meet & Greet session. I went with my sisters and they too enjoyed it even though it was their first time hearing Hujan.

Best School Project Award: National Day Video Greeting message - 7 Aug 2009
Nominees: Tote Board Babes project, E-Greeting Cards, Shine! Youth Project, CEPP Video shoot with SCDF, Hip Hop Dance Competition at ITE Bishan

I have done a lot of work-based projects this year - the most memorable one being the compilation of video greeting messages by students for National Day celebration.

Best Class Event / Outing Award: Climbing Clinic @ Safra Yishun - 25 Nov 2009
Nominees: Sentosa outing, LaSalle Arts School visit, Meet the Parents Session

The first time I think, that I saw my students' sincere cheery faces. A student also wrote, "Today I went rock climbing. I swear I had fun."

Most Memorable Gift by a Student: "Open Me - Forgive Me" note
I got this hand-made 'Sorry' note by a student which I still keep and use as a bookmark. The student has changed a lot now and not the usual.

Most Memorable Group Event: DACC Haflah - 8th Nov 2009
Nominees: Jalan Raya NYPMS, DACC Macritchie Outing, MVAC dinner at Al-Majlis with Mohd Ali (Aerosol Arabic), Darul Arqam Teacher's Appreciation Dinner

It was around the same time during the Haflah when I discovered someone new =) It was also the first time the DACC teachers got together to work whole-heartedly in an event and discovered a hidden team spirit~

Most Played Song in my head Award: "Random Awesome" by Yuna
Nominees: "Mencari Konklusi" by Hujan, "Cai Hong" by Jay Chou, "The Distance" by Cake

I really like the way how the song was constructed and sung. The lyrics are magical ~ "...so save me in your playlist so you won't forget this and if this don't quite go your way, you'll still have me on replay...". The song "Random Awesome" according to Yuna is about the sheer joy of meeting someone unexpectedly or randomly and discovering something special about each other and enjoying each other's company despite being strangers.

Most Memorable SMS / Internet Chat Award: "YAHOO! Messenger" with Khadijah
Nominees: (in confidence)

Chatting with an old friend who is so far away from you has taught me that true friendship is not determined by the speed of internet connection.

Best Toy Collectible Award: Human Alliance Bumblebee with Sam Witwicky
Nominees: Edward Cullen action figure, Avatar Jake Sully action figure

I thank my elder sis Ayu for surprising me with the Bumblebee gift way ahead before my birthday. It's a tough fight between my passion for Twilight (yes, I'm a huge Twilight fan!) toys, Avatar the Movie and Transformers.

Inspiring Person Award: Muhammad Asyraf bin Hasni
Nominees: Dr Israr Ahmad Khan (IIUM), Mohamad Helmy Isa (MUIS)

I admired Asyraf's spontaneity and clarity in speech.

___________________________________

There we go, a list of awards given to the respective people / events that have made an impact on me.

I look forward into the future~

- remykm

"Forgetfulness is part of the process of memorization"
(Dr Israr Ahmad Khan)

Random Awesome~

2009-12-13T14:43:00.008+08:00

.
.
.

"It all began,
at the show one weekend
I was a friend of your cousin said,
"Hey how you've been?"
And with your checkered shirt on,
And my Reebok shoes on,
Let's watch something random
turned to something awesome...

And I smile I love no,
I laugh happier somehow
No I don't know what is up with me
I laugh too much recently...

No, they don't know much about us
When we're exchanging glances
We'll figure out one day,
what happened on your 24th birthday..

It all began with a simple
confession..
You had an urge to kiss me and
I was on the verge to miss you...

and it happen,
no, we don't understand
no, I won't even budge
before we didn't hang out much...

So save me in your playlist
so, you wont forget this
And if this dont quite go your way
You'll still have me on replay...

With your checkered shirt on,
And my Reebok shoes on
Let's watch something random..
turned to something awesome...

And I smile I love no,
I laugh happier somehow
No I don't know what is up with me
I laugh too much recently...

No, they don't know much about us

When we're exchanging glances
We'll figure out one day,
what happened on your 24th birthday..."

(Yuna, "Random Awesome")

.
.
.

_______________

Thank you! My family, Ibu-Ayah, sisters, relatives, friends, students and strangers for remymbering my birthday~

Thank you Psyful for bringing me to watch Yuna, thank you Adi for accompanying me~

- remykm

Saturday

2009-12-05T08:30:00.007+08:00

I thank god for creating Saturdays.

It is perhaps the only day in the week that I can catch my breath and really savour a cup of coffee or tea - albeit waking up late in bed. At times, I woke up too late that I miss Subuh prayers. My body can be really exhausted that I can't pick myself up from bed even when my eyes are already open. I'm very, very tired of a week's worth of work.

This week has been both exams invigilating and marking week. Not to mention students still coming in to submit belated assignments.

I'm not complaining. I can't complain. I don't have time to complain.

It is a Saturday perhaps that I get a chance to blog. Or upload photos on Facebook. Or leave a comment or two on people's walls.

Recently, I left a comment on a student's FB wall - and she got all upset. Again - it's one of those misunderstandings. I already told her not to have any negative thinking about me.

And then her other friends from FB start to reply to my comment.

To save the situation, I deleted the comment. Because I don't want to get into fights.

The problem why people got into fights and misunderstandings is because they have negative thinking about each other. I wanted to stop that.

Life is too short for us to be speaking or thinking bad about other people. Once we start becoming suspicious of each other - we start to lose trust. And it's difficult to be able to look each other in the eye or ask for help. We need to have a "Husnus Zhon" principle in our lives - which is about having positive impression on others. This has been advised by Rasulullah~ If we think positive on others, others will perceive us positively in return.

Where was I?

Oh ya, Saturday.

It was a Saturday also that I got myself involved in the 'Korban' event at Darul Makmur, Yishun for the last Eidil Adha celebration. Eidil Adha fell on a Friday but Darul Makmur conducted their ibadah korban on the following Saturday.

I have always been fascinated with volunteer work. With my father who was at that time, still performing Haj at Mecca, I decided to help out in the ibadah korban and roped in Ruz and his chef friend Kamal. So when we signed up, we were each given this cool bright orange volunteer's t-shirt.

It was a first time for Ruz and Kamal so they were pretty excited about it - especially Kamal who is actually a Shatec student and well-versed in culinary skills. He wanted to do butchering for the korban which is about chopping the sheep's meat into small portions. Ruz and me wanted to do something 'cleaner' like separating the meat portions that will be later weighed and distributed to the needy in packets.

So there were 7 departments for the Korban event:

1) Catching of the sheeps - sheeps get frighten and start to run away,
someone needs to catch hold of them
2) Slaugthering - usually done by the masjid Imam
3) Beheading - literally cutting off the heads of the slaughtered sheeps
4) Skinning - peeling off the furry skin parts of the sheeps with knifes
5) Butchering - chopping the meat into pieces
6) Separation - sieving out the meat pieces
7) Weighing - to weigh the right amount which will later be distributed

The procedural event was amazingly being designed systematically. The masjid premise was converted to become a mini-market & slaughter house to facilitate the korban - with the departments located side by side.

As mentioned earlier initially me & Ruz wanted to help out in the Separation department but we ended up doing butchering instead because they needed more butchers. I had no regrets though - it was an amazing experience.

You need good triceps and bicep muscles plus a very sharp knife to cut the meat. I had to sharpen my knife many times because the meat could not cut through easily because the sheep's bones are pretty tough. Kamal who has some experience cutting fish and chicken told me to use the extreme front edge of the knife and bring it down 45 degrees. That will cut the meat well.

The experience was just amazing msylh. Despite the blood, smell and sweat, the korban was not a bloody vicious affair. The activity was carried out with much humanity and compassion. It is as if the sheeps themselves were cooperating by allowing themselves to be slaughtered all for His sake.

While the korban is commemorated based on Prophet Abraham's sacrifice on his son Ismail, I reflected on the significance of sacrifice and my teaching job. I guess one will always be making sacrifices in life. The act of slaughter epitomizes the human's capacity to do something for his Creator based on devotion and taqwa. Killing a sheep with mercy to feed its meat to the poor is nature's way of giving and taking.

One always have to be thankful.

So I thanked god for creating Saturdays.

- remykm

Beauty

2009-11-22T03:41:00.008+08:00

It is amazing how powder & fake eyelashes

can make someone beautiful
Yet my heart whispered of something more genuine
When god gave beauty to whom He wills
It is not just a gift, but also a responsibility

For her to protect that beauty and not to flaunt it
To cloth it with humility and not let others see too much
For fear that evil eyes might trick the soul
Into believing that is not really affection but lust

In a world full of cosmetics and superficiality,
I hope to love a woman because of her heart.

- remykm

Yuna (I know I shouldn't be blogging)

2009-11-17T18:09:00.008+08:00

I know I shouldn't be blogging, looking at the immense work that I have ahead of me.

Not to mention other wonderful happenings that are worth this space like my father going for Hajj this year, or the MacRitchie outing last Sunday, Hilwan's bday, Shirah's wedding or me having a new crush over the girl who changed the Powerpoint slides during the Haflah....

but..

Yuna!!

She's performing again in Singapore at The Arts House Chamber and guess when...

12 December 2009 - on my birthday~

how sweeeeeeet......

That would be a perfect birthday gift for me...

(lol, I'm beginning to sound and blog like my ITE student again)

On an after-thought, I actually hope that it would rain heavily on the 12 December especially at Siloso Beach so that Zouk Out will be canceled and send those loosely dressed people home.

It is alarming to know how people can still go out to have a party in an uncivilized manner at the beach, the mixing of males & females scantily dressed with liquor and techno music playing would only invite danger. It is definitely a disturbing sight. If the world would end during the party and the scenario would be like as described in Surah Az-Zalzalah, with the earth shaken and man starts crying in distress. I could have imagine those going to Zouk Out, regretting every second - drowned in their own swimming costumes.

I prefer a quieter, acoustic setting on the 12 December 2009...

in an exclusive evening with Yuna who tries to make a difference in this world with her music.

- remykm

___________________

When the earth is shaken to her (utmost) convulsion,
And the earth throws up her burdens (from within),
And man cries (distressed): 'What is the matter with her?'
On that Day will she declare her tidings:
For that thy Lord will have given her inspiration.
On that Day will men proceed in companies sorted out,
to be shown the deeds that they (had done).
Then shall anyone who has done an atom's weight of good, see it!

- The Earthquake: 1-8

Misconceptions

2009-11-07T08:07:00.004+08:00

I find that several of my ITE students have a lot of misconceptions about me.

And I'm writing this explicitly so that they realise the truth.

1) I'm not flirty

My students both males and females deserve a great amount of attention. If you look at their backgrounds, either they come from broken families or have parents who don't do their part much in nurturing their children. I play the role of a big brother. I'm concern about students who don't come to school for a long time and don't submit assignments. I'm concern about students who live their lives aimlessly - going to class and spending a lot of time on Facebook and not doing assignments, or going to Zouk at night and mixing around with party animals who drink and smoke.

Technically, if I'm mean enough, I would have send this students off. Force them to quit ITE and go manage your own life.

But noooo.. I'm a good guy. And patient too. I gave a lot of second chances. I made the effort to ask them how are they doing, whether they have any financial difficulties, emotional problems etc.

I'm giving them the attention that they are missing in their lives.

I'm NOT flirty.

Period.

2) I don't scold people for nothing

I talked to Ydee's mum during the Meet the Parents session yesterday 6 Nov - telling her that at times, I do scold her son because I wanted him to be disciplined and successful. Ydee's mum even encouraged me to scold Ydee if neccessary because she is concern too about her son. She talked about other people's negative perception of ITE students and how she thinks otherwise. She believes that ITE do produce successful students and a great platform for student's development.

3) I'm not a liar

I know of a student who is angry of me (perhaps still angry with me).

In life, sometimes the truth hurts.

People need to have their faith rewarded.

I'm concern about my students - I look at them like my own brothers and sisters.

I love them.

I've said this to a student:
"Before you can learn to love someone, you must learn to hate him / her first."

She misunderstood the message.

Love is not just between a boy and girl. Love is a universal feeling.

A mother loves her child.
A friend loves her close buddy.
A prophet loves his people.
A teacher loves his student.

Love is about caring for one another. Wanting him or her to have the best in life. Love is about NOT being selfish. Its about looking up for each other.

Love is also about hate - but hating temporarily until one sees the true feeling.

4) I'm not racist

I have a class where the majority is Malay, the Chinese students make up about one third and there is only one Indian student.

I believe that I'm a Singaporean and I believe that God makes us different in our races so that we can learn about respecting each other & learning from one another.

I admire my Chinese student from China, Wu Heng for being very, very respectful. Everytime he sees me, he would smile and greet me. He bought me a gift for teacher's day and he wasn't even a top student yet he is morally disciplined.

5) I do have a life

I know of some students who behind my back, would speak something negative about me. And they tell their other friends, "Mr Remy is this...that...." And their friends (who are not even my students) start to get the wrong impression.

And when they meet me, they show their false impression.

The only reason why they talk to me is because I'm their teacher.

I believe that our life is short and I believe that there is a God.

Soon enough, the TRUTH would emerge and we will see the true colors.

___________

There are perhaps more misconceptions that my students have on me than what's being listed here.

I hope one fine day, my students will start to see the light.

I'm not a perfect person and they should know that they are not perfect too.

We should learn to accept each other for who we are.

- remykm

.
.
.
.
.

To Remy - Thank u! <3 Yuna

2009-10-26T02:59:00.006+08:00

Behold~

This is going to be one of the most memorable picture of my life...

That dude on the left is me... and the one on the right is..

YUNA!!

And she wrote this to me, behind one of my ticket stub:

Omg. She loves me. Period.

I never thought we could meet up in person one day - alhmdlh. It happened on the 25th October 2009, 7 Zulkaedah 1430H. The same day my friend Fairus Bahari got married to Noorfazihan Kasim. The same day when Liverpool beat Man U 2-0.

Well, it started when my good gig-goer friend Nur Hakim informed me of Yuna performing in Singapore for the Mocca 10th Anniversary concert. She was actually just an invited artiste performing alongside with local bands like The Sallys and Postbox. Yet - the main reason why I got the tickets was because I had wanted to see her performing a set of songs live upclose.

I remymber travelling to Danga Bay, Johor with my parents and younger sis on the 31st May 2009 just to catch Yuna live @ a TV3 Jom Heboh concert. Me & my sis had to stay overnight at my grandmother's place in Johor that night. When we reached the place, we found ourselves 'drowned' in a huge crowd of Johorians and we watched Yuna performed from like 1,000 metres away with only 2 songs.

This time round, thank god, despite the free-standing concept, I got to watch Yuna performed upclose not once but TWICE during the Mocca 10th Anniversary concert - both on 24th October and 25th October. I went with Ana and Ayu for the 24th Oct performance. I had initially wanted to pass the tickets to Efy (who was the one that introduce Yuna to me earlier this year) but could not find time even to do that. The performance was supposed to start around 6.30p.m but got delayed around 2hrs. Fortunately, I arrived late but came right in time after maghrib to catch the first opening act by Postbox.

For the 25th Oct performance, Hakim text me that he got a ticket but could not go, so he wanted to pass it to me. How sweeeet! msylh. So, after attending Fairus's walimah at Woodlands on a Sunday afternoon with Zo, Hilwan, Adi, Ruzaili, Sarah & partner, I went on a cab to DACC at Mjd Alkaff before getting onto another cab to Tanah Merah to collect the ticket from Hakim. I was late for the performance obviously but alhmdlh got there in time during Yuna's turn to perform and she was singing "Backpacking Around Europe".

Yuna performed different set of songs on the two days during the performance. The only familiar ones that I know were "Rocket", "Blue Sands", "Deeper Conversation" and of course, "Dan Sebenarnya" which is actually a break-up song that Yuna wrote for her friend who was undergoing a painful time after breaking up with a lover. The song begins with "O Bulan.." which is an expression that one would say out, sighing and contemplating on things that happen while looking at the moon.

I also got to know that "Rocket", a B-side song liked by many was actually about Yuna's guitar - an instrument which she treasures a lot and she mentioned in the lyrics "...I can't believe we almost got famous for nothing baby.." Its how she got noticed by the world online and become famous after posting up her songs that she wrote on MySpace, perhaps.

The Singapore Arts Museum, I would say is a very convenient venue. The nearest MRT being City Hall or Dhoby Gaut depending on one's preference. Mjd Bencoolen is just a walk away and the streets are brightly litted with SMU and Raffles City around. The performance was staged on the second floor of the building which looked like a small chapel. The SAM museum itself was previously the former St. Joseph's Institution.

When the tudung clad Yuna performed in the chapel-like room, it appears gothic and a fusion of sermon-like ambience with a tinge of jazz flavour made the setting religiously funky.

The crowd for the 25th Oct performance was not as responsive or many as the one on the 24th. I grab the chance to went close to the stage (as it was free-standing). For the 24th Oct performance, Ayu managed to 'book' a spot very near to the left-side of the stage and we even got a chance to seat on the amplifiers. Yuna, Mocca and The Sallys were performing right infront of our faces.

Both 24th and 25th performances have their memorable moments. I got Yuna's lead guitarist, Pa'an to sign on my Epiphone Les Paul Goldtop when I saw him sitting down alone just outside the entrance on the first night performance. Pa'an is very big guy and he uses a simple Squire guitar with a lot of stickers on it.

I also bum into a few members of The Sallys while in the Gents. Apparently at that time, I was holding a toothbrush to clean up my braced teeth in the toilet and The Sally's keyboardist offered me some toothpaste out of the blue! He also carries around a toothbrush and toothpaste.

I also bum into Hafriz on the first night performance. (I already bum into him during the Hujan concert at RP earlier) I spotted Ahmad Khabab and Hannah Maria too during the concert.

Msylh, what a memorable weekend. Thank you, thank you so much for giving me this.

Life's good.

- remykm

________________

"..Cause even if they go away,
I got the feeling that you're gonna stay..
It's like I'm picking up a miracle off the sidewalk..
Like kitten in the box,
Don't contemplate yourself, you say..
Cause you're all you've got.."

(Rocket)

Is this the part where you'll say goodbye?

2009-10-21T16:19:00.005+08:00

I gave the first Al Mesk Abyad to Hilwan
and the second Al Mesk Abyad to Fidd
the Oud to Imran
the Bakhour to Mohksin
the next Oud to Ishak
the next Bakhour to Salim, or was it Oud
and the last Oud to Faris Fong, or was it Bakhour
Psyful got the last Al Mesk Abyad

I picked the Blue Water because it was the only one

...and I realise I forget to give one to Adi.

Attar perfumes are symbols of something sweet, poignant & transience.

The temporal sweet smell leaves behind scented memories that one wish would stay on longer~

- remykm

___________________________

..he asked, "so, is this the part where you'll say goodbye?"

she replied, "its time for you to open your eyes & heart for another person".

Terminal 2

2009-10-06T18:42:00.003+08:00

My good friend left yesterday approximately 8.31p.m, Singapore time.

"Kat terminal 2 tau. dah nk check in"

Interestingly, I only realised this when I was at Terminal 1 with my mother who insisted of accompanying me. I've told Ibu a lot about this friend of mine and she wanted to see her in person.

After reading off the flight timings from a TV monitor at T1 and following from behind a family who was pushing a trolley of big bags, we boarded the SkyTrain to T2.

The first time when my friend left, I remembered having to fetch Hafiz Jenggo & Psyful from Yishun from their house as early as 3plus a.m. It was the same day my cousin Herdi got married to Hafizah and I stayed up that night to do their wedding video.

This time round, the news of her flight was not broadcasted that much. In fact, I got to know about it quite subtlely when I asked her how was her Hari Raya celebration, in which she replied accordingly and hinted at the end of her message that she was getting ready for packing.

"Packing? You're flying off again?"

"Yes."

She will be away for another 2 years. Mathematically, that's a long time.

I did not notice much difference about her when I saw her at the airport - perhaps a silver ring that she wore on her left ring finger. She did looked enlightened, bright and more confident. She smiled everytime she talked to someone and before she was about to leave she kissed and hugged her father, mother, sisters and some children.

My mum and I engaged in a small talk with her father who was rather approachable. He mentioned about his daughter's plans - of how she got a place in NTU but chose to pursue a course in Arabic instead due to her passion for the divine language.

I didn't speak much to her except to convey Mohksin's regards.

She left me with atar perfumes which she wanted to present to the brothers. She mentioned Adi, Psyful, Hilwan and Ishak.

It is amazing how sometimes, you feel so much for a person.

And every little thing...

and every little moment...

seems so precious.

- remykm

_________________________

"..Maybe can pass those souvenirs (alar. bende kecik je. x mewah pun) at d airport. tgklah cmne. Kalau mmg rezeki korang, dptlah..."

"..insylh kalau dah ada niat nak memberi, mesti ada org yg akan menerimanya. Itulah rezeki."

Redemption

2009-10-02T00:49:00.004+08:00

جَاءِني جِبريلُ صلى الله عليه وسلم فَقال : شَقي عَبدٌ أَدركَ رمضانَ فانسَلخَ مِنهُ ولَم يُغفَر لَه فَقلتُ : آمِينَ

"Datang kepadaku Jibrail lalu berkata : "Celaka ke atas seorang hamba yang sempat bertemu Ramadhan dan keluar darinya tetapi tidak mendapat keampunan terhadap dosa-dosanya, lalu aku (Rasulullah s.a.w) berkata : Ameen."

(Tirmidzi, Al-Bukhari dalam Adab Al-Mufrad)

____________________________

This is going to be a pictureless blog entry.

I did something awful yesterday & regret it as usual.

Ramadan has been smooth sailing but post-ramadan, the temptation starts to set in.

Already, I have seen people uploading their hari raya snapshots on Facebook and I spent some time browsing through the photos. They look happy.

I want to look happy too~ What make them look happy?

It's not really about the color of baju raya that they wear or how they pose for a shot - or who they are with when taking those pictures.

It has definitely got to do with how a person fasts. The quality of his/her fasting during Ramadan which has impacted his or her own faith so much so that even after Ramadan, one is still able to resists temptations.

I remember Fariheen's husband, Ali Rohani mentioned in his kuliah ilmu during Ramadhan Rocks 1429H, that one has to fast not just by restraining from eating & drinking but also, fast with your entire body including your heart.

Rasulullah mentioned in a hadith, "The best fast is the fast of my brother Dawud (David); he would fast every alternate day and he would never flee the battlefield when the armies would meet." (Tirmidhi, Sahih)

Dawud, or King David despite his tight schedule ruling a kingdom and going to battlefields, spared time to fast and stay awake at night in prayer. This is something commendable. To expect a king who has everything at his own disposal; food, women and wealth, to be thankful to god through worship. What made him able to accomplish this? What drives him to fast every alternate day and stand at night in prayer?

It has something to do with devotion that one has for his Creator.

And only when you reached that level of devotion, you are able to resists any other temptations in life.

And only then, you can smile while taking those hari raya photos - and look happy.

- remykm

Tell me where the rainbow is..

2009-09-23T06:59:00.008+08:00

I had this theory that an overdosage of ketupat & rendang can make someone go lazy. This belated blog entry explains just that.

I'm back from 'kampong' in Johor, Malaysia where I hari raya-ed there (pardon the jargon) with family & relatives. My only Nenek (father's side) alhmdlh is still with us this year.

For those who are still clueless, Hari Raya or internationally known as 'Eid Mubarak' is a celebration by Muslims that marks the end of Ramadan, a month of fasting & reflection. It would be unfair to wish just the Malays, Selamat Hari Raya when in fact other races too deserved a Hari Raya as long as they too fast in Ramadan.

Already during the eves of Hari Raya, I played Hari Raya songs in class just to get my students in the mood. Of course, I played a bit of Jay Chou and Indian songs to enliven the racial-harmony spirit. And I must say I really like Cai Hong by Jay Chou. It is a very poignant romantic song that played in my head even though I don't understand what it means.

My last terawih was done in Mjd Darul Aman. I broke my fast there with my Mum and sis.

I didn't expect to frequent Darul Aman a couple of times this year. It is a very laid back place, located at the outskirts of Geylang opposite Eunos Mrt, far away from the craziness of the bazaar.

I was supposed to qiyam that night, (the last night of Ramadan) but tiresomeness get the better of me. When I woke up at my bed, I realised it was already time for sahur. After subuh, Ibu & Ayah drove me to Kampong Siglap near East Coast. I was supposed to meet Basirah and Nur Syahidah for our DACC camp meeting. The night before I sent a text to Basirah asking her, "Are we meeting right after subuh?" She replied, "Ayo tgh solat msg eh!" I laughed upon reading this as I did my terawih 8 rakaat which ended early but obviously she did 20 rakaat.

It has been a concise-d Ramadan for me this year. I remember breaking fast a lot of time at work with Zo, Cik Mus and Cik Min as we have night classes every Tuesday and Thursday. Me and Zo would take a walk behind our school to buy food around 6p.m and our menu was either Nasi Ayam, Mee Goreng or Nasi Goreng. Zo would frequently pay for the meals. He is very generous when it comes to food.

Ibu has been very, very hardworking this year. She would be the first one to wake up to prepare food for sahur while she herself was the last one to sahur. As I bite my food at the table, I watched her selflessness filled with exuberance. My sisters, my father and I were just not too awake. The energy that Ibu has was subhanallah, amazing.

Our family did most of our terawihs at home and occasionally at the nearby masjid. We did an Iftar at home which my ITE students attended; Shane, Faiz & gf, Aliff, Nero (Ihsan), Hafiz (DAVP), Hon Yuen, AZ, Ruzaili, his cousin and Masli.

The Iftar that I attended this year can be count by fingers. I came for MClub's Iftar at Sultan auditorium, MVAC Iftar (with Psy, Faizal, Farhan, Zo, Sarah, Hamimah & Fairuz) and Darul Arqam Iftar with fellow DACC teachers.

I was unable to attend any NYPMS, Nur Ikhwan, Saff or NUS Iftar - something which I would usually take part for the last few Ramadans. And because of that, I did not get to see much familiar faces.

I did sent out a few kad rayas (Hari Raya greetin cards) to a few of my close friends.

The only kad raya I received this year is by Hilwan. Though, hari raya SMSes poured in my mailbox over the weekend and I replied back to every SMS.

Ramadan do left me with sweet memories. I guess that's the only consolation that someone like me would get. I have this motto which I hold onto: 'a simple house, a simple car, a simple wife, a simple life.' When you try to take things and bring them into its simplest forms, rest assured - life can be simple.

I do hope to bum into Ramadan again. It's almost like meeting someone in the train or the masjid, and you smiled at her and she smiled back as if she has known you for a long time. And when its your time to leave the masjid or alight the train, you wished she would come by again.

- remykm

_________________________

"Na li you cai hong gao su wo,
Neng bu neng ba wo de yuan wang huan gei wo...
Wei shen me tian zhe me an jing?
Suo you de yun dou pao dao wo zhe li.."

Tell me where the rainbow is,
Could you still give me back my wish..
Why is the sky so silent?
All of the clouds are running to me...

(Cai Hong)

Search for it

2009-09-07T17:32:00.006+08:00

There are a few upcoming occasions that I would like to attend.

A friend of mine, Hafriz, was the first to sms me about Hujan coming to Singapore.

I'm against the moshing part, really. I just like their music. I was thankful that the venue is held in a school; Republic Polytechnic.

I like to seat down while listening to good music.

Hakim informed me of Yuna coming to Singapore. But the poster said "with support from Yuna" so it's still questionable whether she'll be performing or not. This news came around the time after Adi told me about Zee Avi performing in town too.

There is one more event that I would love to attend.

The dates for this special occasion are set as following:

21st, 23rd, 25th, 27th and 29th.

Physically, I'm not sure I'm able to come.

But spiritually...

I will make that effort to be present.

The venue is not given though.

But I will search for it, god willing.

- remykm

_____________________________

From Ibn 'Abbaas, Rasullullah said:
"Lailatul-Qadr is calm and pleasant, neither hot nor cold, the sun arises on its morning being feeble and red."

"The Night of Al-Qadr is better than a thousand months.."
- Al-Qadr 97:3

Dan mintalah pertolongan (kepada allah) dengan jalan sabar dan mengerjakan sembahyang.

Dan sesungguhnya sembahyang itu amatlah berat kecuali kepada orang-orang yang khusyuk. (Al-Baqarah 2:45).

The Scientist

2009-08-27T03:25:00.002+08:00

I don't have feelings for you anymore F.
Except for my sincere intention to help you.

- remykm

_________________________

"Many people who fast
but did not gain benefits from the fast except hunger,
and many who stand in the night by praying
but do not gain anything except tiredness from staying awake in the night"
(Muhammad)

"I was just guessing,
at numbers and figures,
pulling the puzzles apart
Questions of science,
science and progress,
did not speak as loud as my heart.."
(The Scientist)

Kan ku cari konklusi...

2009-08-25T09:43:00.016+08:00

There are 2 things that I look forward to everytime Ramadan comes:

1) redemption
2) falling in love

When I came to school on Monday, I was surprised to discover that Ite students do fast. Contrary to the popular misbelief that students from Ite would perhaps overlook the beauty & wisdom behind fasting, my students continuously joked in class about batal puasa, food and Cikgu bila nak belanja makan.

It is the spirit of fasting that makes one continue holding on to the principle of abstinence, restraining from daily temptations; hunger, thirst, anger and perhaps falling in love.

The Ite students proved that they too believe in self-control.

They too believe in god's presence and how He has made fasting compulsory to the people living in this era and those before.*

They might not fulfill the 5 daily prayers requirement but hey - at least they fast.

I'm touched every time, to know that someone is fasting. It is a hidden prayer, concealed, not visible to the eye and not known.

It is a secret romance between a servant and his God.

I read a hadith by Abu Hurayrah, God said that ‘All the deeds of the son of Adam are for him, the good deeds will be multiplied ten times to seven hundred time, except fasting, which is for Me and I will reward for it accordingly.'

It takes a lot of strength, commitment, sincerity and a tinge of love to be able to go through it.

Kan ku cari konklusi.....

- remykm

* O you who believe,
fasting is prescribed for you
as it was prescribed for those before you
that you may learn self restrain ...
(Al Baqara 183 )

_________________________

Belum tersimpul mati

Ikatan itu ku buka sendiri

Terus bertempiaran
jutaan huraian
Ku takkan mengerti

Teka silang kata
Membuat parah,
menambah persoalannya

Aku tak pasti
yang kita hadapi

Yang kita semua cari....

Coba tenang seketika
Coba pejam mata
Biar resah hilang saja

Dan coba diam yang bicara

Sediam bersama

Ditemani jasad kita

Kan ku cari konklusi.....

(Noh, Hujan 2009)

See the moon and the stars

2009-08-10T08:11:00.003+08:00

The idea of celebration and coming together has always inspired me to be part of it.

In my little space, within my means, I gathered students together to give National Day wishes.

I felt that if I had not done so, the sense of belonging amongst the students would be somewhat lost. They need to feel. They need to belong. They need to know that there is someone out there who is watching over them. They need to know that they are being loved.

Whether you love a country, or someone, you should hold on to that feeling. It is what that made us what we are now.

Human.

-remykm

Unreasoned Love

2009-07-30T12:32:00.007+08:00

gothic flavor..
how i miss you
if i only..
once could kiss you
i'd be happy
for one moment
of my lifetime
i'd be there

and the water..
running over
me is growing..
ever colder

make me happy
for one moment
of my lifetime
i'd be there

(rivers)
__________________

i've been counting.
those whom i previously got infatuated with.
slowly, one by one of them becoming someone else's.

the experience has been perhaps 35% bitter, 65 % sweeet.
imagine being completely carried away by unreasoned admiration for someone which is shortlived by the very realities of life

Infatuations have been characterized by unrealistic expectations of blissful passion without positive relationship growing out of it.

I got it a lot of time, really.

I don't think i get to marry someone who i really like
(for that short burst moments of admiration)

but if i did...

thank you god.

- remykm

"make me happy,
for one moment
of my lifetime
i'd be there."

Lens-flared life

2009-07-19T11:52:00.012+08:00

I got no time to blog.

Everytime, I sit in front of my laptop with ideas rushing in my head, there's always bound to be some interference. My efforts to record & preserve some remyniscence of my life have somewhat diminished. I always strife to be more creative with every post but creativity got outsmarted by my broadband connection.

I got loads of photos waiting to be uploaded but I can't keep up with the speed at which my life is going.

It's too fast.

Too much things happening.

There are however a few things that I want to write here.

First, Khadijah is back.

I'm tired of using acronyms anymore or speak in metaphors, hence pardon the blatancy.

It does not really matter if she likes me or not.

I bummed into Ruqayyah at Pergas, Wisma Indah and she conveyed Khadijah's message to me.
For a few seconds of my life, I felt happy.

I've came across a hadith,

Abu Karimah Al-Miqdad bin Ma`dikarib (r.a) reported:
The Prophet (PBUH) said, "When a man loves his brother let him tell him that he loves him".
[At-Tirmidhi and Abu Dawud]

Based on the above, I think there would not be any harm if a man happens to love a woman and tell her that he loves her, right? Ha,ha... oh, well.

I attended Mendaki's Graduates Tea 2009, and one of the speakers, Sujimy Mohd, said about the law of intent or the pursuit of striving hard to get something in your life. He gave the analogy of chasing after a woman whom you like. The efforts should materialise into something fruitful. Hence, one should always be working hard at something.

The second thing, that I wanted to write about is my class's photoshoot.

In my opinion, it went well. Though one of students, Efy smsed me that she found the photoshoot awkward. Sigh~ I got no time to argue with her. She's still mad at me.

I'm just as excited to show the photoshoot pictures to my class - will wait after I finished my one-week reservist.

The third thing that I want to write is my family.

Celebrated my father & elder sis's birthday at Carousel, Royal Scotts Hotel. We have two invited guests.. ehem, ehem.

Dinner was expensive but great. I enjoyed the big prawns, roast beef, sushis and the birthday surprise song by the crew at Carousel for my father.

I bought for my sister a woman's Bvlgari Omnia perfume. It smells really nice!

By the way, I spotted this beauty while at the Royal Scotts carpark!

Ok that's it.

Time to return to my non-virtual life.

Please stay tuned. I will be back insylh.

-remykm

F

2009-06-28T02:03:00.004+08:00

"Like a comet blazing 'cross the evening sky,
Gone too soon..

Like a rainbow fading in the twinkling of an eye,
Gone too soon..

Shiny and sparkly and splendidly bright..
Here one day..
Gone one night

Like a castle built upon a sandy beach,
Gone too soon..

Like a perfect flower that is just beyond your reach,
Gone too soon..

Gone too soon.

(MJ, 1958-2009)

_________________

Some things in life just have to come to an end, an indication of how fragile and temporal we are.

From her voice on the phone, I realised how much she hated me.

And I can't continue fooling myself picturing the day that we would be together.

I have brought her to see some lights & pyrotechnics..
..and she has brought me to see her true self.

Sometimes the truth alone is not good enough.

Sometimes people need to have their faith rewarded.

I will miss you, F.

Goodnite.

- remykm

godsent

2009-05-29T00:09:00.006+08:00

M: I did sumthin bad ~ forgive me 23:04 (28 May)

F: What thing bad? 23:07

Why must ask forgiveness frm me.
Ask god. Im nt god. 23:12

M: I ady asked God. So now i asked u ~ becos u r godsent 23:15

F: Why whats wrong.. 23:15

Why u did smth bad
isit got to do we me? 23: 16

M: I just want to confide with u ~ becos u r close to me 23:20

F: What thing u did? 23:20

M: Can I keep secrets with u ~ 23:22

F: Yes.. 23:22

M: Thank u F. Wont tell u nw, personal. Its good 2 have someone whom
i can share secrets with ~ 23:26

F: Ok. Just tell me when u feel like to. 23:20

M: yuna likes coldplay & cardigans too ^_^ 23:49

F: No wonder yuna's voice is a lil similar to the lead singer, the cardigans. 23:15 (29 May)

........

Yuna ~

2009-05-26T22:57:00.004+08:00

F - "I need space." 21:18

M - "Thumbdrive?" 21:18

F - "No. U controlling every of my aspect." 21:19

M - "It's like a missing star thats alwys been up in ur sky, they are all you.
U r like a rocket ~ " 21:31

F - "What u talking ni. Dont use good english w me la.
Better use those to P, ur favourite distinction student
who likes to f**king brag even w unecessary stuff." 21:36

M - " ..u r like a rocket in my mind thats waiting 2 define
evrytin abt me. cause even if they go away,
i got the feeling that u r gonna stay ~ " 21:46

F - "Out of the blue moon.. And so on.. everyday theres new things
that needs to brag and the worst part is, orang tak tanye,
die aleh2 bilang...wow " 21:46

M - "Why r u talking bad abt P ~ she has never told me
anytin bad abt u. I tot she's a nice person.
I can tell by her eyes.. the way she looks at someone.." 22:03

F - "Oh wells. U don't know her well yet. :) ooops sorry if been
saying bad abt ur favourite distinction student.
Its nt saying smth bad actually. It smth fact. " 22:06

M - "Did u have 2 cut the white parts of ur printed poster just nw
~ the others had to, fyi " 22:09

F - "I see P's the same as mine what. If u want i can pay back
the printing. How much is the price anw? " 22:11

M- "Just pay me back by being in good terms with P.
Ur good looks shld complement with a good heart ~ " 22:26

F - "Forget everything i said just nw. Gdnite." 22:24

F - "I am ok w her..we both are always fine.." 22:27

M - "tell me u're okay, i'm the one. I filled the most for u. Fix it, i said. Good nite ~ " 22:30

F - "U always took phrases from a song." 22:32

M - "ha,ha.. I really like yuna. thank u for bringing her to my life ~ " 22:33

F - "I like her too :) " 22:34

........

Departure

2009-05-24T20:48:00.004+08:00

My good friend Mohksin fled off to Down Under, away from the craziness of life in Singapore.

Khairu & me 'cabut' from our workplace last Friday afternoon to see our friend off.

Mohksin's uncle.

Mohksin's grandmother oddly came to see her boy.

Staying in a place far too long can make a person go crazy, so Mohksin is doing the right thing.
He sold off his bike (from what I was told) to get some cash he needed, quited Mendaki and appeared for a few seconds on national TV for the infamous 'Imperfectly Perfect" MCYS Family Funeral commercial before venturing off.

A few weeks before, I met Mohksin on his birthday with Hakim Ono to watch X-Men Origins: Wolverine and he had been speaking about leaving Singapore. Much like Logan (Wolverine) himself, Mohksin is a soul-searcher, bearded and without a girlfriend - either a victim of unrequited or lost love.

I'm not really his close friend but I'm close enough to understand him. He text me two days before his flight:

"Salam remy! Ingat tk tht time i told i wanna take a break? Im going this fri to aussie. thot is let u noe (=" - 19 May 2009 21:26

Life has been at times crazy and unfriendly for me and I wish sometimes I can fly off as well, away, to become temporarily a wayfarer, a traveller and a kind stranger.

My work at ITE had almost taken its toll - but I need to learn as much as I teach. I can't afford to fall in love, let alone allow myself to be emotionally drowned with feelings such as rejection and loneliness.

Sparing the details, I rather hide and pretend - that everything is okay.

I have started taking evening classes at Pergas for the BIRKH programme to get some spiritual nourishment - something which I needed to get my mind away from her.

I thank god for this life - for having a family, friends.

And I thank the person who invented aeroplanes and airports.

It's always a nice feeling to be there at the Departure Hall to see a person before he flies off.

Perhaps, almost like being there at someone's deathbed before he goes to meet his Maker.

-remykm

A short conversation with Khadijah

2009-04-16T22:50:00.003+08:00

Lol.

I haven't been blogging obviously. Until a recent & sudden, not to mention - short, conversation I had with someone so far away.

____________________

Khadijah is Available
.
.
.

Khadijah : salaam. i happened to come across mvac website the other day n saw MY picture!

eeeii!

padahal i didn't help much pun kat mvac

Me: salaam! how r u?

Khadijah : w'salam wr. sihat.

Me: bila nak balik? haha

Khadijah : wei. tukar topic lagi~

insyaAllah sometime this year

Me: yay! =p how long r u going to be online?

Khadijah : for anotehr 10-15 mins? ntah.

nnt remove eh gambar tu

Me: ok no prob ~ i know u dont like ur own pics ha,ha.. lol fancy chatting with u over yahoo messenger! of all places

Khadijah : eh. who says i don't like my pics? just that i don't like my pictures to be puclished online/ etc. tak suka org tgk

Me: do u get letters from singapore?

Khadijah : some

Me: from me?

Khadijah : ada

Me: lol - one-line answers eh...

Khadijah : ok, gtg

sorry

Me: me two salam

.
.
.

Khadijah is Offline

Khadijah will receive your Chat message after signing in.

___________________

Ha,ha.

When someone is not interested in you, she tends to give short replies.

I learnt that in life.

- remykm

Are u angry with me?

2009-03-14T23:12:00.004+08:00

Everytime their eyes met, she knew he had to smile,
When science seems impatient to wait for reason to come
He dares the moment to breathe her even for a while
Because love does not count chromosomes

- remykm
________________________

"Are u angry with me?"

"I knew it from the way u make the face n the way u react to me!
I'm sorry!
I've been thinking abt it.
Thought of waiting for u to go back home n said sorry.."

"Wait im not slping yet, im very very sorry ok.
Very sorry."

(10 Mar 2009)

____________________

Are u asleep yet? B4 u close your eyes, I want u 2 knw that I will keep ur sorry note in a very special place ~ in my heart & remymberance

=)

(11 Mar 2009)

Walimatul Urus: Hairil Bin Abu Bakar & Siti Aishah Bint Mohd Fuad

2009-02-25T21:28:00.004+08:00

Walimah:
Siti Aishah Binti Mohd Fuad
dengan
Hairil Bin Abu Bakar

Hairil
(HP): +65 9831 0340
(HP): +60 017 257 5989

Pada
15 Mar 2009

Bertempat Di:
531 Jelapang Road S(670531)

Aturcara Majlis:
11 Pagi - 5 Petang : Jamuan Makan

_______________________________

Pada
28 Feb 2009

Bertempat Di:
Lot 833 Jalan Pusara, Kampung Telok Piah, 45000 Kuala Selangor, Selangor Darul Ehsan

Aturcara Majlis:
11 Pagi - 5 Petang : Jamuan Makan
12.30 Tengah Hari : Ketibaan Pengantin

Kuala Lumpur

2009-02-25T21:05:00.003+08:00

I'm back

2009-02-12T23:55:00.006+08:00

For a lack of better words, I decided to write something to keep this blog alive.

I'm back.

After 2 long weeks of a driving course that I was liable to attend part of The Enlistment Act, Cap 93 - Order to Report for Service Under Section 14 of The Enlistment Act, Cap 93.

I have always dreaded wearing the No. 4 uniform. I remember crying in my heart when I had to put it on repeatedly upon booking in every Sunday evening amidst a cold wind blow at Pasir Ris interchange during the early years.

Things were different now. At least, I'm mature enough to know that pain is temporary.

The driving course was a grueling one for any Auto mode car driver. Imagine having to relearn how to change gears manually - for a monster 3-tonner truck. On top of that, imagine having an instructor seating next to you ready to pounce and reprimand at will for your errors. I got shouted almost every time I took the wheel on public road.

The experience brought me back to training days at Tekong. It was scary.

I took it like a soldier. I brave the odds and manage to get my momentum. God has little surprises for His servants and hence I know that verily, with every difficulty, there is relief (Al-Inshirah: 5)

My course-mates came from colorful background - some were from the regular Commandos, Warrant Officers, 1SG and 2SG. There was even a Lieutenant-Colonel who was believed to be the Chief of Combat Engineer, taking the Class 4 Modified Driving Course at Kaki Bukit Camp with me. Even the NSF Officer Cadet trainees were seen taking the same course for another cohort. A rather odd combination. The modified driving course was catered for those who already have the Class 3 civilian licenses. For a Guardsman like myself, I think having the Class 4 would look good on my testimony.

I made friends. They were rather human despite their garang outlook. Several Commandos were actually National Shooters and are Snipers-trained. Some were already married. My reservist counterparts are themselves working adults - one a delivery person, another an immigration Officer, not to mention a construction manager who manages Bangladeshi workers. Interacting with them had somewhat lighten the load.

The initial tests for Class 4 included a Lashing Test - to fasten a crate on the 3-tonner, a Height-Estimation test and a reverse angular parking. I took them with confidence because I had went for remedial training and practice had perfected the skills required.

I wasn't successful in the first public road driving test and had to go for another set of remedial training for the 2nd test which I passed on a cooling Saturday morning 7 Feb 2009 after some praying and well-wishes from my mother, father, sisters and friends.

The feeling of passing the driving test was very relieving. Almost immediately after passing the test, I was sent for an Island-Wide Driving from Kaki Buki Camp to Changi Naval Base after an en route to Mandai Camp 2 via TPE-SLE. The Island-Wide driving was a moment to savor because I drove with my buddy, LCP Yusoff, next to me with a peaceful mind. Cool wind brushed my hair as the IVECO 3-tonner cruised through the expressway. I will remember that sweet moment.

The remaining training days saw me driving the IVECO and Landrover through rough terrains in the Cross Country track, immersing the vehicle into water (Water-fording), camouflaging and black-out night track driving at Jalan Asrama.

If there is one thing that I've learned and would like to share with others from the experience above, is the beauty of hardship.

Before one can taste the sweetness of success, it is rather inevitable that one has to undergo some difficulty.

I recalled a quote from Mr Steve Lim at his website: "If you never fail, you're not trying hard enough".

Thank you for the bitter experience - Now that I'm back, I feel so much indebted with life.

I miss my family, my friends, my ITE students who kept on smsing me on when I would be returning back to school, I miss my life.

I'm back.

_______________________________

Efy says: (9:48:49 PM) - "Too much bird shit and birds flying arnd."
remy says: (9:49:54 PM) - ".. (even) birds can be romantic creatures you know."
Efy says: (9:51:35 PM) - "haha.. yep i knw."

(12 Feb 2009)

A Visual Protest

2009-01-20T23:57:00.002+08:00

The day will come when even ordinary men would stand up to fight for their right.

[Premiere] A Scandalous Durian Love Affair

2008-12-12T07:47:00.007+08:00

The Scandalous Durian Love Affair from themvac.com on Vimeo.

Background:

On the 3rd Nov 2008, amidst an Eid Adha festive setting, Firdaus "Fidd" Ajmain asked us out to eat D24 durians at Geylang. The outing saw the meeting of familiar faces who now wear different make-ups. I only had one full durian and some pinches of the leftovers.

While looking at my friends indulging on the 'forbidden' fruit, I reflected on relationships & matters of the heart. If I ever had a crush with anyone on the durian table, I knew how temporal the feeling would be.

This video was inspired by the un-usualness of the occasion - an invitation to eat durian. A 5-min or so crush with someone over at the table, an odd mix of people with familiar faces who have been together for nearly 5 years.

Durian has always been a fruit that brings back memories.

To pay tribute to the fruit, The MVAC website (www.themvac.com) turned 'YELLOW' on 12 Dec 2008, a color that signifies sacredness, sanctity, caution and hope.

Credits: Friends of The MVAC - alumnis from Nur Ikhwan, Nypms, Bro Faizal (Faddho) & Nur Hakim (Optomistic)

-remykm

________________________________

If you are unable to watch the video, you may try the YouTube link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5WYgqI4WtAY

If you like the video, appreciate a PayPal donation to us. =)

Durian Love

2008-12-04T22:54:00.000+08:00

A simple durian invitation...

Made me taste the sweetness within...

an otherwise prickly 'forbidden' fruit.

______________________

Good things are worth the wait....

remykm

"labbaik allahumma labbaik "

Mikaeel Jackson

2008-11-23T11:04:00.003+08:00

Michael Jackson had converted to the Islamic faith and changed his name to Mikaeel.

I've read it from Straits Times yesterday (Sat 22 Nov 2008) and reconfirmed the news reports from online sources.

For a man who has phenomenally changed the hip hop and R&B music scene, popularised the iconic Moonwalk dance, contributed millions of dollars to over 39 charities and numerous beneficial causes including HIV / Aids research with the surrounding controversies that would entail perhaps almost every celebrity, one has to admire the journey he took to find God.

The news would either make you smile (if you are a Muslim) or devastated depending on your faith but nonetheless MJ's decision to convert from a Jehovah Witness to Muslim should be respected.

Celebrities such as MJ faced many controversies in their lives that the essence of spirituality and God becomes much sought after when all worldly needs become exhausted.

Michael or rather Mikaeel Jackson has been one of my inspirations when I was really young. I remember the day when my mother bought for me the "Bad" album cassette tape and I had played the songs over and over again switching from sides A to B on the radio. My father got me MJ's autobiography "Moonwalk", a rather thick & wordy book for me during that time but I liked it so much especially looking at the inlay pictures.

Below is a news extract is taken from Telegraph.co.uk.

_______________

Michael Jackson 'converts to Islam and changes name to Mikaeel'

Michael Jackson has reportedly become a Muslim and changed his name to Mikaeel.

By Graham Tibbetts
Last Updated: 10:33AM GMT 21 Nov 2008

The singer, who was raised as a Jehovah's Witness, converted to Islam in a ceremony at a friend's house in Los Angeles.

He is said to have sat on the floor and worn a small hat while an imam officiated.

According to The Sun, the ceremony took place while Jackson, 50, was recording an album at the home of Steve Porcaro, a keyboard player who composed music on his Thriller album.

The former Jackson 5 star was counselled by David Wharnsby, a Canadian songwriter, and Phillip Bubal, a producer, who have both converted.

A source said Jackson had appeared a "bit down" and added: "They began talking to him about their beliefs, and how they thought they had become better people after they converted. Michael soon began warming to the idea.

"An imam was summoned from the mosque and Michael went through the shahada, which is the Muslim declaration of belief."

Last year his brother, Jermaine Friday, suggested Jackson would convert having taken an interest in Islam since Friday's conversion in 1989.

"When I came back from Mecca I got him a lot of books and he asked me lots of things about my religion and I told him that it's peaceful and beautiful," said Friday.

"He read everything and he was proud of me that I found something that would give me inner strength and peace.

"I think it is most probable that Michael will convert to Islam.

"He could do so much, just like I am trying to do. Michael and I and the word of God, we could do so much."

____________________

Nocturnally

2008-11-06T23:54:00.004+08:00

Over the couple of weeks, I have been attending live performances despite my 'busy-ness'.

I realised that my nocturnal life has been spent far too much outside the comforts of home.

I miss my bed.
I miss a good sleep.
I miss checking my handphone now and then before sleeping.
I miss Furryheen.
I miss her replacement who is now located in the suburbs of a Syrian dessert probably waiting for DHL or FedEx to send snail mails with Singaporean postage stamps.

As much as people wanted me to forget the past, I don't see clearly the future.

I have been getting Wedding cards, lots and lots. Emails from people who want to see work done. Weeks passed by quickly like me flipping through magazines without bothering to read the words.

Yet here I'm with my blogspot.

A spot which allows me to hope to be sympathised by occasional strangers who happen to 'stumble' upon my life.

Oh god forgive me for whining too much. I should be thankful.
_________________________

Ivy Mic Session @ Earshot, Sat 1st Nov 2008
- Nur Hakim Alim Salim performed brilliantly in his solo performance, Optomistic, a surprise for a rather introverted person. The cozy setting reminisced a movie scene from Ada Apa Dengan Cinta, one of my favourite love movies after Ayat-Ayat Cinta, when Cinta recited the beautiful poem by Rangga.

___________________________

Ungu Goes to Esplanade @ Esplanade Concert Hall 31st Oct 2008
- I was supposed to bring in one of the two randomly-picked friends from Facebook. In the end, both could not join me & my sisters for this stellar performance by Ungu and I invited my cousin instead. We sat at the Balcony E section seats 35 -38, very, very close to where Taufiq Batisah was seating with Maiya Rahman and their friends. Yes, Taufiq was amongst the audience and under our noses.. Of course we took picture with Taufiq after the performance.

Pasha from Ungu was exceptionally stunning. He mesmerized perhaps everyone including the Usherers who warned us not to take pictures.

Ungu played one of the latest song "Dengan Nafasmu" - masyaallah, very sweet

Izinkan ku ucap kata taubat
Sebelum Kau memanggilku
kembali pada-Mu, menutup waktuku

Izinkan ku serukan nama-Mu
Sebelum nyawa dalam tubuhku
Kau ambil, kembali pada-MU

Karna ku tahu, hanyalah pada diri-Mu
Tempatku mengadu, tempatku mengeluh
Di dalam do’aku

Dan demi nafas yang telah kau hembuskan dalam kehidupanku
Ku berjanji, ku akan menjadi yang terbaik
Menjalankan segala perintah-Mu, menjauhi segala larangan-Mu
adalah sebaris do’a ku untuk-Mu

- Dengan Nafasmu, Ungu

Flowers for Furryheen

2008-10-15T01:07:00.000+08:00

I've always wanted to write comics.

I remember drawing lots of them ever since I've learnt how to sharpen a pencil without breaking the lead and the motivation now has grown even much stronger.

It didn't matter if I could not get an audience or a faithful following, I just wanted to be heard.

So, this is my (perhaps) 157th attempt to write comics with the hope of fulfilling my long lost childhood dream of creating a realm that reflects the very universe which my other self lives in.

(Note: The number 157 is rather random because I remember asking a girl something about whether I am the 157th person that got rejected from being her steady in which she replied back jokingly, "No. You are the 158th." )

I've thought of the title, "Flowers for Furryheen" for reasons I wish I could elaborate here but rather not.

Not for now, at least.

I wish I could also explain the synopsis but I would rather let the reader figure out the direction that this story would take by simply looking at the sketches and dialogue. I would also make an effort to color the drawings (if time permits) to amplify the mood and expressions because I've learnt, through reading lots and lots of comics, that the challenge of every comic artist is to express something which is not there. Action does not necessarily speak more than words. Rather, a non-action can sometimes sum up a whole paragraph worth of information. A successful comic is dependable on the wit of the artist and story teller. He has to be selective in showing only the things that he wants his readers to see.

Apart from that, I've wanted to approach my blog in a fresh way - through writing comics.

With that, I leave you waiting for the release of the first issue.

Do make yourself a 3-in-1 instant coffee, let down your tudung and enjoy "Flowers for Furryheen".

Oh ya, any resemblance to reality is 'purely coincidental'.

- remykm

On another happy note, Luqman Hakim got married to Siti Aishah Ahmad last Saturday, 11 October 2008 (11 Syawal 1429H) at Mjd Assyafaah on a cool drizzling afternoon.

In an sms, Luqman wrote to his friends: "Salaam my friends.. Thank you so much for your presence and duas. Truly i felt much peace and tranquility just now. It was a very happy occasion for e both of us alhamdulillah and we thank you so much for it for doing what true friends do - constant duas to Allah for each other.. Do take care my friends. And stay in touch! Insyallah we shall meet again - Luqman and 'Aishah."

_______________________________________

"Random strangers who happen to be faceless & possess stalker-like inclinations may leave a post here to be added as a friend."
- dolus specialis

Ghost of Ramadan

2008-10-07T02:38:00.001+08:00

Jadikanlah hati kami
tempat Mu Ilahi
jadikanlah cinta kami
untuk Mu Ilahi
jadikanlah rindu kami
hanya pada Mu Ilahi

Jadikanlah matahati
hanya memandang Mu
jadikanlah lidah kami
hanya menyebut nama Mu
jadikanlah panggung kami
hanya membisikkan Mu

Jadikanlah mata kami
hanya melihat Mu
jadikanlah telinga kami
hanya mendengar Mu
jadikanlah mulut kami
hanya memuji Mu

Jadikanlah tangan kami
membuat yang diredhai
jadikanlah kaki kami
berjalan yang direstui
jadikanlah anggota kami
menjalankan yang disuruhi

Jadikanlah majlis kami
diredhai Mu Ilahi
jadikanlah persembahan kami
diterima Mu Ilahi
jadikanlah kami di sini
direstui Mu Ilahi

Jadikanlah cinta kami
cinta Mu Ilahi
jadikanlah rindu kami
rindu Mu Ilahi
jadikanlah rasa kami
rasa Mu Oh Ilahi

Jadikanlah keluarga kami
yang Engkau berkahi
jadikanlah zuriat kami
yang Engkau rahmati
jadikanlah ummat Islam
yang Engkau sayangi

("Doa" - Nazam Ma’rifatullah - Nur Irsyad
Senikata - Hj Hussein Abdul Latiff)

_______________________

I heard this song being played a couple of times on Warna after Imsak during the last Ramadan and immediately fell in love with its haunting yet soothing chantings.

-remykm

Come back and haunt me.

peArth

2008-09-26T11:09:00.000+08:00

Fajr - 4.45 a.m
Zuhur - 12.20 p.m
Asar - 3.20 p.m
Isyak - 7.30 p.m

Breakfast - 6.10 p.m

I will remember that for life.

- remykm

'To God belong the East and the West: whithersoever ye turn, there is the presence of God, for God is all-pervading, all-knowing' (2:115).

Munawwarah Toybah

2008-09-13T10:43:00.010+08:00

13 September

13 Ramadhan

13 days and nights have passed and I'm still stuck at Al-Baqarah.

I carry the Book almost everywhere I go even whilst performing Tarawih with my family at Mjd Ahmad Ibrahim. Still, my tiredness proved to be too overwhelming. I haven't been maximising Ramadhan effectively.

At times, I felt an irony to my existence. My life story can turn out to be something predictable but yet riddled with twisted plots and endings.

Ramadhan Rocks 2008 | 1429H (RR), the only event which I foresee that I will be active in this Ramadhan, has finally drawn to an end. It passed almost too quickly. I have spent so much time in its preparations. Sacrificed my nights going for meetings and sometimes unnecessary plannings that when the actual day finally came, I just let Time took over my body.

This is the kind of feeling that you get when you start to find life becoming more predictable.

I don't blame anyone, not even myself.

While I may not have the ability to freeze time like Hiro Nakamura, I did an account of things which happened during RR that are worth remembering.

DAY 1, 1500 hrs thereabouts (Bedok)
On that very Friday afternoon, 5 Sep 2008, the start of RR, it didn't rained. In fact, it was sunshining. I left ITE Dover, after the Principal's Talk, to Bedok interchange. Upon reaching Bedok interchange, I bummed into Rufi and Ezsra who were on their way to Bedok North Neighbourhood Police Centre to get a permit. I accompanied the two tudung-clad ladies who oddly carried their camping bags with them.

Sis Ezsra works at the United Arab Emirates embassy and Rufi is a lab technician. Only an event such as Ramadhan Rocks could actually bring these odd ladies together, I thought.

After getting the Police permit (which costs about $50), we headed off in a cab to Mendaki.

Mendaki, in my opinion, has been the most favoured gathering place for volunteers. The Mendaki building and its hall have brought back many fond memories.

I was at Mendaki for a Gunung Ledang trip which I went with my siblings way back in 1990s. My earliest stint as a volunteer started at Mendaki where I was involved in an Iftar project for hearing-impaired kids in 2001. Project Zip! was held at Mendaki in 2005 to commemorate the efforts of volunteers for the Aceh Tsunami relief. And now in 2008, Mendaki is being chosen again as the venue for Ramadhan Rocks 2008.

The place has played host to many events that it has become a second-home to many volunteers.

DAY 1, 1600 hrs thereabouts (Mendaki)
Rufi, Ezsra and me eventually reached Mendaki and we were greeted by our fellow committee members of Ramadhan Rocks. The people had already started setting up the place for RR.

My role in RR as the Vice-Head for Programmes has been rather ambiguous but interesting. In email correspondences for Ramadhan Rocks Yahoogroup, I only signed off as Vice-Head Programmes when I deal with authorities such as Outward Bound School and NParks. Other than that, I signed off after my name as Ramadhan Rocker, on behalf of the Programme Team.

I am blessed to be working with a great line-up of people in the Programme department. Nurhakim, who was the Head for Programmes, was more of a doer than a planner. It was his first time running a Saff Perdaus event and I tried to orientate him as to how Saff Perdaus works.
The common ground that me & Hakim shared is music. I discovered that he listens to Weezer as much as I do and hence we are pretty much in synch. Our common interest in music find ourselves later on, learning to play "Akhirnya" by Gigi, the song which I had chosen to be sung by the brothers for our Nasheed performance.

The rest of my Programme Team members are mostly NUS students. Suliyati is from a Life Sciences background together with Farhanah and Siti Sarah (who left RR earlier for personal reasons). Bro Jamil, a senior Saff activist, had been facilitating in most of our Programmes meetings.

Ishak, my long time friend back at NYP, also become part of the family though he still could not look at me in the eye (after 2 years since the Minhah incident). A sister by the name of Mursalina, from Singapore Polytechnic and a former madrasah student, became another asset. She got another friend, Sis Mardhiyah to join the team. Nur Afifah was roped in to be our group mentor and has helped to tighten the Tazkirah / Spiritual component to our programme. Zaki, a Police NSF, completes the Programme Team as our runner.

Working with people has taught me the importance of tolerance and other sensitivities. We may share the same faith but we might not have the same understanding. I remember during the early planning stages of RR that I almost quarreled with Hilwan, who was the Vice-Head for Publicity. It was about the posters that I did for RR teasers with the clenched fists, & the words RAMADHAN printed on the outset of each fingers. The teasers had somewhat violated the Publicity Team's direction for Ramadhan Rocks who proposed the idea of a 'Thirst Quencher".

I did a recce video and a few sets of RR teasers which unfortunately short-lived. Someone posted the video in Saff YouTube (which I see it as a compliment to my creative work). Unfortunately, the video was soon asked to be taken down.

There will be things that you do in life and you thought by doing them, would help others. Only to realise that, the only help that you will be needing is the strength to forgive and forget.

DAY 1, 1800 hrs thereabouts
I was happy to see my DACC students attending the RR camp. There were altogether 7 of them.

Maria, Finna and Ninna came together in their tudungs. Ain, the bespectacled small girl with a strong modern English accent was there and so were Iqbal and his emo-haired brother & sister.

I had been promoting RR to my students whom I felt needed an outdoor spiritual injection in their lives. They are actually the children of fellow Converts and hence the idea of spiritual experiential learning is new to them. Learning should take place beyond the classroom, I always believed that. My intention to educate my students this way was however misunderstood by certain people.

Bro Meeran and Anis from Darul Arqam paid me an 'unexpected' visit at Mendaki. I was being asked to explain my reasons for having this Ramadhan camp for the DACC students.

Despite all odds, I continued to play my small part in RR.

In a big scale event such as RR, you tend to find your own clicks or people that you can easily communicate with. I was close to Hakim and Zaki throughout the event. As the event unfolded, I find myself attached to other personnel such as Fadhil (nursing student from NYP & Safety for RR), Azhar (NYPMSN) and of course Adi (an old time friend).

NIGHT 1, 2015 hrs thereabouts
Soon, it was time for buka. As the idea of having an eco-friendly camp was promoted, the bubur served by the FNB team came with 'no spoons attached'. Even plastic cups become a luxury item as we were told to bring our own mugs. I quickly grab several paper folded cups from Mendaki water dispenser at the lobby and used them instead for drinking.

By 8 p.m, everyone seemed to be settled down at the Mendaki hall, both for dinner and prayers. One of the first itinerary being a talk by a fellow medical student, Bro Syed Haron on Ramadhan and our body. The theme for Ramadhan Rocks 2008 is afterall about appreciating our body, organs and the beauty of fasting.

While people were busy helping out at Mendaki, I slipped away from the crowd to help out with Hafriz & Logistics to get the bicycles. Hafriz had arranged for a Class 4 lorry (it is as big as Optimus Prime, no kidding) to get the bicycles from Kit Runners to Mendaki. The lorry was courtesy of Asrul (ex-NurIkhwan, Mendaki)

At Kit Runners, I was engaged in a negotiation with Kit (it's actually a name of a person, female) and Ivan (staff) for 155 bicycles and helmets. The order for the number of bikes increased to meet the increase in the number of participants for the event.

For 155 bicycles to fit inside the class 4 lorry, it would require 3 effective trips to Mendaki back & forth. Loading the bikes to the lorry can be a really daunting task for 5 people. Let alone, unloading them.

When the bikes reached Mendaki, support came by other personnel including Bro Hairudin who helped in moving the bikes to the designated parking space.

DAY 2, 0100 hrs thereabouts
Before turning in to catch some Zzz, there was a a mass personnel meeting and we had a heavy discussion on the arrangement of returning the bicycles. I had surfaced the issue about how tiring the work can be if it's left only to the logistics crew. The idea of making the participants returning the bicycles on the last day (Sunday) was debated and we finally reached a consensus to get everyone's help to return the bikes together with the logistics crew on Sunday.

Mendaki was small and the personnel had too find our own spaces to sleep. Eventually, I ended up sleeping in the lobby on the ground under a strong air-con climate with Zaki, Azhar, Hafidz (Mr X), Luqman (Safety) Hakim (who slept in a sleeping bag) and Ust Hasrudi (on the sofa).

DAY 2, 0415 hrs thereabouts
We woke ourselves up. The female participants had to use the toilets on levels 2 and 3 and we were blocking the way. Anyway, it was time to sahur. The F&B team were really on the ball. I saw Mardhiah, Farah Aqilah and Waheedah already up even at about 3.30a.m preparing the food for all of us. They were preparing Nasi Ayam (already cooked & packed).

DAY 2, 0600 hrs thereabouts
Subuh was done and followed by a Tazkirah by Bro Nurshahid Noorahman (secondary school teacher, ex-Saff activist). He came prepared to talk in Malay until I prompted him to switch to English as they were several non-Malay participants. It was awkward on the organiser's part and we had to make do with it. The bicycles became wet after yesternight's downpour but they were ready to go. After the safety briefing conducted by Fadhil, it was Hakim and my turn to conduct the route briefing.

We were off to Spark C. Cycling from Mendaki to Spark C was a breeze. Spark C becomes more than just a destination; it offers an environment for the Ramadhan Rocks programme to run on an island on its own. Suddenly, we felt belong to it. I think the participants would have felt it too.

DAY 2, 0830 hrs thereabouts (Spark C)
Everything was running well. Time was on our side.

I finally met up with Steven, Morissette and later Rakesh in person after all the email and sms correspondences.

The games were played and things start to fall into place. I watched my Programme Team members delivering their part. Suliyati was in charged of the Propless Games and Treasure Hunts on bicycles whereas Farhanah supervised the Challenge Ropes Course elements.

There were already enough people to run the games: Hakim, Zaki, Siti, Aizat and Jamil over at the Walking Your ABCs and Match the Suspects stations. Mursalina and Mardhiyah were the game station masters for a water-based tele-match game.

DAY 2, 1220 hrs thereabouts
It was not long until I spotted Nurulhuda Mustafa. I was on my way (on a bicycle) with Hakim and we were about to go out to the beach to collect stones (to prepare for Stoning the Habit) until I saw Huda getting ready to leave the campside. Huda had been a very, very active Saff activist until she went missing in action due to her post-graduate studies at NUS. She was leaving Spark C and was on her way to a class where she is teaching at Diploma level. I decided to offer her a lift. Not on my bicycle of course. I sought Hakim's permission to use his hot, red Mazda 3 saloon car and drove Huda to her destination. Initially, I wanted to send her to the nearest Bedok interchange (because I was such a bum) until I asked her "Are you late for your class?" Which she cheekily replied back, "I'm not early".

Alright, so there I was sending her to her 'destination' and we strike a conversation. She is currently doing her PHD thesis in Biomedical Science, an area I thought only Fox Moulder and Dana Scully could venture into. I'm proud to hear that there is actually someone amongst our jemaah that could really afford to excel both in volunteering work such as the Ramadhan Rocks as well as studies. She's really a rare case.

Hakim's car was only missing a Cashcard and I had to use mine (with a low value of $4.04) to beat the ERPs which were operational on Saturdays.

DAY 2, 1330 hrs thereabouts
Upon driving back to Spark C, I saw Suliyati and the participants who had completed the Treasure Hunt on bikes waiting at the gate. Spark C gates were closed to prevent outsiders from coming in.

I returned the car keys to Hakim and he gave me a joking impression, "Did you take my car for a joyride?"

The rest of the time was spent waiting, at least for me. My body became tired due to lack of sleeping hours yesternight at Mendaki. The emcee, Muhaymin, too cannot tahan and requested to catch some Zzzz in one of the huts. I tried remaining awake or at least I was kept awake by the people around me. Mohksin and Hafiz Husian (whom I dubbed MIB, Men in Blue) approached me to ask about my decision on marriage. They have actually approached me and asked whether I would like to be matchmade. It was then that I realised the real beauty of matchmaking - which is not in the match-making procedures itself but rather the very efforts made by these brothers (Mohksin & Hafiz) or people alike who try to help others find their soulmates.

In actual truth, I was afraid to be matchmade. I can expect my destiny to be like Ayat-Ayat Cinta. Fahri remains a fictious character to me and his story a fairytale folklore.

DAY 2, 1430 hrs thereabouts
Adi called me and asked for directions to Spark C. Once again, I sought permission from Hakim to use his car to fetch Adi. Hakim's car remain one of the most useful assets, apart from the PA system that he had brought, for the event. Even Mohksin used Hakim's car for trips as well. This was where I begin to appreciate Hakim's presence for the Ramadhan Rocks event. He does not speak much but he was able to accomodate for other people's needs.

There are several others who share the same personalities as Hakim whom I would call them the Phantom Helpers, (a word coined through a discussion which I had with Hakim and Muhaymin) One of these Phantom Helpers was my old schoolmate from St.Patrick's School, Nur Rahim. He played the crucial logistics driver for the event but yet adopt a rather unassuming role. The other 'Phantom' Helpers for the RR event includes Zamri, who helped in logistics, and later became the official Bilal / Muazzin for the RR event due to his resonating voice.

NIGHT 2, 1930 hrs thereabouts
Night came and we were having our buka. While the participants & several other personnel indulged themselves in a delicious Ayam Masak Lemak and Sambal Goreng dish with Nasi and the spoonless eco-friendly styled Bubur, several other members from the Programmes & Logistics Team went out to the beach nearby (outside Spark C) to prepare the place for the Terawih by the Beach itinerary.

Unexpectedly (yes, this one of those UNEXPECTED incidences), the sky started to get strangely darker than it used to. Wind blew heavily blewing the newspapers and safra cloth that we had used for buka. The dark sea shimmered with the occassionally lightning strikes followed by thunder roars. Saddiq (Vice-Head, Safety) announced a CAT 1 status. The condition sent the 10 odd people from Programme and Logistics outside Spark C packing up in the dark with the aid of just portable torches and lightsticks. The terawih by the beach idea had to be cancelled.

Not long enough, rain started pouring in with huge bass sounds of thunders. The personnel with Facis gathering the participants have sheltered themselves at the Concourse area. The wind and 35 degrees rain were just competing with us for attention that we need from the participants. Eventually, the brothers used groundsheets tied up with comsquad string to block away the impending raindrops.

NIGHT 2, 2115 hrs thereabouts
Ustaz Hasrudi led the night prayers, followed by Tarawih prayers by Ustaz Hamzah.
The latter gave a tazkirah for the participants after the Tarawih prayers.

The Stoning the Habit (which was supposed to be done after Tarawih by the Beach) had to be replaced by an indoor activity. Bro Jamil took charge of a mass Facilitated session with the Facis and participants. It was also during this time, that Hakim, played "Akhirnya" on his guitar with the accompanying voices of Izzaki (ex-Nur Irsyad), Nazmi, Hafiz Noorahman (Head of Saff) and myself. The song was supposed to complement the facilitated session with the participants but I got to know that the volume for the performance was soft.

NIGHT 2, 2200 hrs thereabouts
Later that night the F&B team treated us to ice-creams and crackers, part of the Moreh (night snacks).

It was time to sleep yet some of us were still feeling hungry as we did not had a proper buka. We decided to get food from McDonald's later that night after the mass debriefing for personnels. I did not follow the brothers who went McDonald's as I was too poofed out and wanted to get a shower. I went for a late night shower with Adi and we shared the facewash soap. Occasionally, the toilet lights went automatically off when we were inside and and it was a bit funny to bathe in the dark. I had to stepped out the toilet and then in again to put the lights back on again.

Adi, Fadhil, Azhar and myself later on engaged ourselves in small talk while waiting for Hakim, Zaki and Ishak to return from McDonald's. One of the conversation brought us to the recent trip to Stong where I learned from Fadhil that Hilwan can actually cook a chicken outdoor using just the chicken-skin as ingredients.

Farah Aqilah (from F&B) was still up and tried to offer us some leftovers which I voluntarily ate because I did not want to waste it.

DAY 3, 0030 hrs thereabouts
It was already late at night nearing 1 a.m and I saw the RR Heads still up with the debriefing with Facis and Hilwan working on the Photo montage slideshow.

When the brothers returned from McDonald's we found a spot to sleep through the cold night. The rain has stopped but the occasional wind blows still send shivers down the spine.

About 4 to 5 hours later, it was time for Tahajjud. Bro Ridzwan led the prayer.
Soon enough, sahur came and I saw the F&B team already laying out nasi in dulang at the Concourse.

DAY 3, 0445 hrs thereabouts
Ustaz Muhammad Ali Rohani came during this time and we shook hands. I would have taken my sahur with him but my place was taken by someone else when I went to wash my hands. He would be leading the Subuh prayers later on and give a short tazkirah.

His tazkirah after Subuh was apt and well delivered. Amongst the things he discussed was about people who fast with "Imanan waktisaban", or 'puasa yang ikhlas'. He told about the story of an Ulama (a learned religious scholar) who only tasted the sweetness of doing night prayers after 20 years of facing difficulties in performing them. God has return the favour by letting him taste the sweetness of night prayers for the next 20 years.

The reason why a person feels so difficult to perform night prayer could have been his very own sins.

After discussing about night prayers (tahajjud), Ustaz Ali spoke about the various levels of fasting which one would attain. The basic level of fasting is about controlling hunger & thirst, the intermediate level is about controlling our sight and hearing and the highest level of fasting is about making even your heart to fast together with the other organs. Fasting with your heart would mean to withstand evil thoughts and feelings. The lessons from the discussion on body organs; sight, hearing and hearts complement the theme for Ramadhan Rocks 1429H - Jism.

Ustaz Ali is blessed with a mastery over the Malay language and he was able to capture the crowd's attention with his candour and wit. I guess its a gift that God gives to some people. As a person, I believe he does practices what he preached. I did bummed into him once doing qiyam at Masjid Kassim.

Our ustazs are getting much younger these days and they could really talked so well about things religious. Somehow, I begin to see myself becoming more redundant.

DAY 3, 0630 hrs thereabouts
When the day started to make its presence felt, Muhaymin led all of us for a quick warm-ups and jogs.

I was relieved that it was the last day for Ramadhan Rocks. As I have mentioned earlier, I actually looked forward for this day. It is not a negative thought, by the way. I just wanted to move on with my life.

Ridzwan came up to me to ask whether we should go ahead with Stoning the Habit on that Sunday morning. I agreed to it and we got the Emcee, Muhaymin to call up the Facilitators to meet me. I asked Hakim, Jamil and Suli to tag along with me as I went to brief the Facilitators about this sudden change of plans.

I told the Facilitators, that the Programme team really wanted to thank them "from the bottom of our hearts". (I'm actually seeing the hearts as organs and hope that the Facis would actually realise the pun) I told the Facis that the Programmers are actually THEIR facilitators for this event. (We facilitated your roles as Facis...)

The Programmers just need one last favour from the Facis that was to bring their participants on bikes to the beach nearby to pick up stones and throw them to the sea.

The throwing of the stones into the sea may seem to be a simple activity but the action of doing it means so much to the individual thrower. In life, we do keep things as memories. But we also have to let go of some things be it our past sins, our dark stain history or painful memories that we wish would stop haunting us. The sea itself is seen as the agent of change, with every wave that envelopes brings life to the otherwise dead ocean.

As the participants returned back to campside, the bikes were being compacted to facilitate logistics movement for the returning of bikes.

Everyone else gathered to the Concourse to watch two brilliant performance by our Facilitators who had been working hard for the event. The performance by the brothers was about the sensitivities in educating others on fasting.

The sisters on the other hand, used a drama within a play technique to bring home the message on patience while fasting. Both comically delivered, received a great applause by participants and personnel alike.

The brother performed an encore nasheed performance again but this time with a better sound quality.

Ramadhan Rocks was brought to its end with a closing sing-along session, Sumbangsih (Nur Irsyad) and doa by Brother Zamri. We took turns posing for group shots against the Ramadhan Rock (Ultimate Thirst Quencher) banner.

A little reunion amongst the NYPMS members.... ooohh

All brothers group shot... we rock!

Another adventure awaits us after photo-taking - when we had to return the bicycles by actually cycling back to the bike shop.

All in all, I will definitely miss these Ramadhan moments.

And I'm glad to have experienced them with a group of people whom I held closed to my HEART.

No pun intended on the heart, by the way.

- remykm
14 Ramadhan 1429H

_____________________

My good friend, Nurfariheen Mohd Dawood gave birth to a lovely daughter, Toybah Munawwarah on the 15 August 2008 (13 Sya'ban 1429H). May she be given the strength to take care of her daughter and bring her up well. May Toybah becomes an aset to the community and ummah insylh.

Al-Ikhlas ruuhul Ibaadah

2008-09-05T07:53:00.000+08:00

Ikhlas adalah Ruh awal ibadah

Gairah dan keelokan amal ibadah yang terekspresikan pada jasmani sangat erat kaitannya dengan wujud sir ruhani.

Keberadaan rahasia ruhani yang meliputi hati dalam bentuk ikhlas yang menjadi kehidupan amal ibadah. Jika amal ibadah diumpamakan sebagai jasmani, maka ikhlas itu yang menjadi ruhnya. Sebab ibadah yang tidak ikhlas sama dengan jasad yang tak punya ruh, alias mati.

"Manusia itu seluruhnya akan binasa kecuali mereka yang beriman,
mereka yang beriman itu seluruhnya binasa
kecuali yang beramal,
dan mereka yang beramal seluruhnya akan binasa kecuali mereka yang ikhlas."
(Al-Hadis)

First Degree

2008-08-22T08:36:00.001+08:00

In life, there is always a first to everything.

A first crush, first love, first fall, first hate etc.

Alhmdlh, I got my first degree. While it may be a small deal to everyone else, the accomplishment is felt the most by the very person who receive it. Not to mention my family and perhaps close friends.

The reality of a paper chase may seem to resonate 'invigoratingly' in the country which I live in. Who can forget those terrible exam days and the disappointment of getting the results.

Some go to NUS, NTU, NIE blah, blah... while there are those who have to choose other alternatives and try to be proud of the 'university' or institution in which they come from.

There were times when I felt difficult telling people that I graduated from NAFA and NYP.

"You got your degree at NAFA?" Some might ask.

And I remember taking a deep breath while explaining to them that I'm taking a Multimedia & Design-centric degree which might not be available elsewhere or at the local universities. One might need to go overseas to get such qualification or perhaps now at the 4-year so called 'recognised' degree from NTU's School of Art & Design.

It has been tough even explaining to people and even convincing them that you are good.

Paper qualifications.... Life is really about that.

Recognition...

NUS, NTU, SMU, NIE...

I guess if you come from the above institutions, you have no difficulty at all telling people what you do in your life.

Life has to go on and hence I have to be proud with what I have and leave it up to Him to decide my direction.

My stint as a student at NAFA has been brief but 'alphabetic'.

I got:

an A for Design Dissertation Practice.
a B for Special Study
a C for Advanced Studio 2 : Concept Realisation & Communication
a D for Advanced Studio 1 : Contextual Research & Concept Development

The above results perhaps illustrate how interested I was on the subjects or how much the teachers really like me for them.

In a design school, grades are often given at the disposal of the teachers. If they like you, they might give you good grades, if not it's the otherwise.*

(*its a personal opinion)

I did remember being the good guy. There was a time when my lecturers were up in arms against me during the 2nd Assessment. They even canceled my Suria TV interview that I was supposed to have and put me under 'investigation' for something which I was innocent of.

Sigh.. Those were the trying times... I'm glad to be given the strength to overcome it. I remember crying during those days.

I'm glad to have my family and close friends that emphatized with my situation. I have to thank my mother, my sister and one of my close friends, Nicholas Seah for their encouragement.

I do remember the sweet moments at NAFA though.

I was selected for Today's First Degree supplement interview with a fellow friend from the Bachelor of Graphic Communication, Ming (Caleb). The interview was courtesy of Mr Alwyn Seah, the warm executive admin officer from NAFA Admin office.

Another media opportunity came, when one my 'friendlier' lecturer, Mr James Sin, invited me & my friend Nicholas for the Interactive Digital Media Project collaboration with MDA, NYP SMU and NAFA.

Life has to go on....

I keep telling myself that...

Now that I'm working, I look forward to change the world for the better.

- remykm

" Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love "
Ramadhan Rocks is coming - 15 more days

Hafiz Husian & Nur Haryani

2008-08-11T16:52:00.003+08:00

Muhammad Hafiz bin Husian & Nur Haryani binti Husni tied the knot on National Day 9 August 2008 | 7 Syaaban 1429H.

As someone who knows both the couple, through volunteering work, I felt their marriage is one which is unassuming yet eminent, a relationship which has been illuminating since their early days as Saff Perdaus volunteers.

I share their joy truly.

Another marriage between Nor Muhammad Ali (frontman of nasyid group Nur Irsyad) and his teacher Faridah Ahmad also became an inspirational love story. Nor, 27, married his older English and Music teacher who has been the backbone success of the local nasyid group.

- remykm

"My advice to you is to get married. If you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not you'll become a philosopher."
- Anonymous (quoted from Mohksin's blog)

Rock On

2008-08-01T10:36:00.001+08:00

Rock On: http://ramadhanrocks2008.multiply.com

"Many people who fast get nothing from their fast except hunger and thirst,
and many people who pray at night get nothing from it except wakefulness"

(Darimi)

Sigh

2008-07-07T00:13:00.002+08:00

She replied back.

Got rejected.

I wish I could complain but it would not take me anywhere.
At least I should be thankful that the sign comes early.

I will stop doing these things:

1) Checking her blog everyday

2) Thinking of something religious to say

3) Praying for her? (ha,ha.. that's too evil)

She is actually a nice person.

"...wanita-wanita yang baik untuk lelaki-lelaki yang baik.." (An-Nur: 26)

She is better off with someone holier than me

I stop reading Ayat-Ayat Cinta. It's too mushy for a guy like me.
I just wait for my mother's recommendation.

Goodbye love

- remykm

On another sad note, Hilwan's grandfather Allahyarham Haji Mohd Idris bin Mohd passed away yesterday. May his soul be rested amongst the pious, in this blessed month of Rejab.

Looking forwards:

1) Working

2) Saving money for marriage (even if I need to wait 10 years to find the right one. At least, I still have hope.)

3) Be active in Ramadhan Rocks

4) Revamp The MVAC

5) Crying on the prayer mat

"O God, make me want what you want..."

1st ICT: Completed!

2008-07-03T07:03:00.002+08:00

Got back from my first 'low-key' battle and it has been a memorable experience, alhmdlh.

The thought of putting back the camo No. 4 shirt, kiwi-ed boots and bringing your barang-barang to camp perhaps would be one of the most daunting feeling a guy would have and it was as if it was only yesterday that he has ORD-ied. Have you observe the faces of army guys who booked in every Sunday evenings?

Sighing doesn't help. A positive mind is what a soldier needs, be it in peace-time or the 'actual' battle.

This blog entry accounts for the ICT experience that I have been through. As much as I wanted to put pictures, there weren't any because no camera phones are allowed in camp. Hence, the picture above, which is my unit, is the SBO insignia that I received during my first ICT stint.

_________________________

Day 0 - Thurs-Sun, 19 June - 22 June 2008
Prior to the reservist call-up, I have made ample preparations. Went to the nearest camp at reach to buy army stuff from E-Mart; socks, New Balance running shoes and 3SG insignias (I was getting ready to be on the next level!) I also bought the 'SINGAPORE' insignias that will be sewn later on the top of the left breast pocket of my No. 4 shirts. Although my Mum volunteered to sew them for me, I decide to send it to a neighborhood tailor because I wouldn't want to trouble her.

I got myself 2 black trackpants and a mesh duffle bag to put my helmet and SBO together.

Day 1 - Mon, 23 June 2008
Here cometh the day that we have been waiting for. I was given a lift early in the morning from my mother and sister to Jurong Camp II, which was located near SAFTI MI. As I bade farewell to my love ones and entered the Infantry Training Institute, I passed my 11B for identification. The RP alerted me to fold up my no.4 to a Smart-fold.

The first thing that I did was to check-into the camp at the IN-PRO centre. This is where NSMen register their attendance to signal the start of their ICT. Those with long hair-cut will be sidelined to go for one. I already got my haircut before coming, thanks to Bro Khairu Rejal who gave me the tip-off. He has been one of those people whom I consulted with regards to reservist. I got consultations from people like Bro Herdi, Farhan and Faizal as well.

Draw arms!

Haven't heard that command for a long time and on the first day, we were already told to draw arms! After putting my barang-barang at my bunk, I went to the armskote to sign out an M-16 and a goodie bag containing 2 magazines (not the one that you can read! it's a shell for the rounds), a rifle sling, a rifle cleaning kit, blank attachment, scabbard & bayonet and a yellow arms band.

Apparently, it has been a tradition for this reservist unit that I'm attached to (which is currently on its 3rd ICT) to have a Cohesion March, with everything on: SBO, helmet and weapon. The short 2.4km march was supposed to be our ice-breakers! Ha,ha...

I do not know anyone. Yet.

Hence, the next challenge for me for the days to come, was to befriend these strangers.

I did made some effort to make some friends while we had our weapon technical handling familiarization course later that day. I wasn't feeling to well. It had been overwhelming on the first day but alhmdlh I managed to pull it off.

Day 2 - Tues, 24 June 2008
My bunk was supposed to be on another building with MT Line but I slept instead with Charlie Company. It was alright really, because we were all on the same frequency.

Talking about frequency, the mindset for us has been about 'getting it over and done with' and this has been a positive outlook for those who served reservist. The objective is to make NSMen stay relevant and in-tuned to their technical skills that they have acquired back during NS days and be ready on a defense mode against any possible attacks from other countries. It is about going through the motion one day at a time and 'do it good, do it once'.

I was fortunate to be able to work with people who have positive outlook in NS. The commanders have been approachable and helpful unlike the type you see during BMT where they were 'regimental' and can be really aggressive. I think the times have changed and felt thankful for that.

I mixed with a lot of smokers. Smoking has been a social activity and you might appear to be the odd one out if you don't have a cigarette at your fingers. Nevertheless, alhmdlh, I did not fall for the temptation to light one.

Activities went on with IPPT in the morning and technical handling on SAR 21! It was my first time holding the weapon and we should be proud that it was made locally. The 'stripping' lessons had been beneficial not to mention the IA Drills.

After the lessons, we went for a mass briefing on the technical mobilisation that will be happening on Saturday.

Day 3 - Wed, 25 June 2008
Every week has its peak; and for this ICT it took place on a Wednesday. It was a D-Day for me as I will be taking the Day & Night shoot test with the SAR 21. Rifle range sessions start early in the morning and end really late at night and the part that makes it daunting is about waiting in anxiety for your turn to shoot.

Detail 6 draw ammo!

Another command that I have not heard for a long time. Put on my helmet, SBO and earpiece (to minimise the sound impact) and went up to collect ammo. The first familiarisation shoot went okay. I reminisced the time when I got shouted by the BMT Safety Officer during range for being quite 'blur' with loading and unloading the magazine back then when I was a recruit.

This time, I'm more confident. I remember some advise made by an officer and a Specialist back at BMT that goes something like this:

"Be in control of your weapon. Don't let it control you. Hold it well so that you really look like a soldier.."

The advise still rings in my head.

I was also reminded by another quote mentioned by a sister in her blog:

`Umar (ra) said, “Teach your children swimming, archery, and horseback riding.”

The first test was a shared shooting results between four person in a section level. I was with CPL Azrul, 3SG Fazrul and LCP Mas. We called ourselves 'the Poteks' because I think we all wore glasses during the shoot. It didn't went well at first so we had to go for a re-shoot. I guess it was our first time with SAR 21. Our score was 27 out of 60.

After the reshoot, we managed to pass with 39 out of 60, something that we were proud of! Ha, ha..

During the night shoot we zeroed our weapons with the LAD light (a really good innovation). The advise was to use the laser light to point at the target (silhouette) after the first tracer shot rather than the scope. Alhdmlh, we passed the night shoot test!

After RAI (collecting rounds) and area-cleaning we hit back to company line.

Day 4 - Thurs, 26 June 2008
The thing about NS, I guess time flies and you sometimes don't keep track of dates. When I had to draw weapon the next day, I had to asked the armskote, "What is today's date?"

Activity continued with second day shoot and later on ASO practical which started the next morning at a BUA (Built-Up Area) at Neo Tiew.

I also played the supporting role as a Road Marshaller facilitating troops in moving to their destination.

Another long day.

Day 5 - Fri, 27 June 2008
It is expected that I would be missing solat jumaat. Nevertheless the spirtits were high for almost everyone as we were on our last day at camp!

Book out!

Yup, my favourite command.

Later that night, I got a lift from my reservist friend, LCP Murad who was already married with 2 kids.

Day 6 - Sat, 28 June 2008
Mobilisation at Maju Camp. Got up early with the Advance Party to help out in marshaling again. Didn't had breakfast hence, I was a bit hungry. As the NSMen drove or rode in the camp, familiar faces that I have met smiled at me.

Later after the technical mob, my platoon mates went on a convoy on cars & bikes to Safra Yishun for our Battalion Cohesion with tele-match games. Our HQ side got the first to be able to go for Out-Processing, marking the end of our ICT.

I wish to thank the following people who has been with me during ICT:
3SG Iskandar, PTE Shahrazin, CPL Azrul, LCP Murad, CSM / 2SG Yeow, LCP Idzuan, CPL Hairill, LCP Mursyid, LCP Hanafi, LTA Andrew, LCP Hafidz, LCP Roslee, LCP Chua 'Jack Sparrow', 3SG Fazrul, LCP Mas, CPL Jerrold, CPL Jaye, 3SG Bernard bunk mates from Charlie Coy and many others.

________________________

The overall ICT experience has been good. I'm back to my civilian life and I have other 'battles' ahead of me.

Will be signing a teaching contract later today. Hoping for the best in my future prospects.